Stupid is as stupid does

“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” — Benjamin Franklin

When we become adults we no longer need our parents to make critical decisions in our lives. We are free to fail, free to succeed, and yes…even free to be flat-out stupid.

Adolph Hitler’s pursuit of a ‘more perfect world” included a government campaign against smoking and the individual right to bear arms….among other things.

Freedom, however, does not come without risks and costs, especially when it comes to our rights to wallow in pure stupidity.

But what line should our government draw between an individual’s desire to exercise his or her inalienable right to stupidity and the protection of other citizens from those stupid choices?

The Biddeford City Council is just half an inch away from enacting an ordinance that will prevent residents from using fireworks anywhere in the city.

The council’s decision follows on the heels of a recent reversal in state law that now allows the sale, use and distribution of fireworks. But the new state law also stipulates that individual communities may set their own standards regarding the use, sale and possession of fireworks.

By allowing individual communities to establish their own fireworks ordinances,  a resident of Bangor could –theoretically — have more freedom than a resident of Biddeford.

Some animals, apparently, are more equal than other animals.

Laura being stupid with sparklers, in direct violation of state park policy

My wife, Laura, is a member of the city council’s Policy Committee. She and other members of the committee voted unanimously in favor of the city’s ban on the use of fireworks.

When asked why she voted in favor of the ban, Laura explained that the majority of residents who testified before her committee supported the ban. Furthermore, she said, the local ban was adamantly supported by both the city’s police chief and the fire chief.

It makes sense to me that government officials, such as the police and fire chief, would want to ensure public safety by having greater control over public activities. In a sense, this is the fundamental and  appropriate role of government: to provide for the public’s general welfare.

For example, the city is not infringing upon its residents’ Second Amendment rights by enforcing a policy that limits the use of shotguns in certain parts of the city; nor is the city infringing upon its residents’ First Amendment rights by limiting public comments at city council meetings to five minutes.

Reasonable people can agree that individual rights have some limits. Your freedom of speech does not allow you to scream “Fire!” in a crowded movie theater.

But then again, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and what do we do about all the stupid people and their stupid choices?

It is a slippery slope with grave consequences that should be weighed carefully.

On July 4 1978,  I violated state law, local ordinances and the core elements of common sense by using a Roman Candle — a type of firework device that launches brilliant shots of exploding matter into a brilliant, although brief, display of color and sound.

I was 14 years old, and I nearly blew off my testicles by holding the tube improperly while sitting on the front stairs of my childhood home.

I lit the fuse and pointed the tube across the street, toward the parking lot of the Armory building on Franklin Street in Saco, then the home of 133rd Engineering Batallion.

Fortunately, there was an adult present who saw that the fuse was pointed toward my crotch.

“Hey, turn it around!” he screamed just before the tiny balls of fire began jettisoning toward my own tiny balls of fire.

Obviously, I survived the incident and learned a valuable lesson about protecting my genitals.

Under today’s standards, however, I would have been prosecuted by the Department of Homeland Security for firing upon a federal facility, and my parents would have been charged with child endangerment.

But it all turned out fine. For better or worse, my testicles remained in tact, and I went on to make many more stupid choices.

Stupidity is the cornerstone of innovation, and it’s a trademark of America and our willingness to take risks, make mistakes and ultimately succeed.

Imagine strolling on a North Carolina beach in the early 1900s and watching as two brothers played with a “flying machine.” How stupid! Those men think humans can fly like the birds!

Go back further in history. How much sense did it make for a bunch of disgruntled farmers to take on the world’s most powerful army in a rebellion against a mighty throne?

And what about the stupidity of Columbus, and his epic failure to find a new route to India?

Acts of stupidity and risky behavior provide us with tremendous value and opportunities. More importantly, our right to be stupid is inextricably linked to our pursuit of happiness.

Therefore we ought to be damned careful as we set out to create a utopian society. After all, Adolph Hitler was one of the world’s most outspoken critics of smoking.

In fact, Hitler went after the smokers long before he set his sights on private gun ownership and the Jews.

Thus, whenever government infringes on our God-given right to be as dumb as a door-knob, it ought to include much deliberation and considerable thought and debate about the unintended consequences of such legislative endeavors.

Defining stupidity is nearly impossible. Beauty, after all,  is in the eye of the beholder.

Do you think the government should tell you what is okay to eat? Do you think the government should dictate who you can marry? Would you prefer that the government provides your health care, your housing and your food? Can you imagine the consequences?

How dependent are you prepared to be? How much of your liberty are you willing to sacrifice for your security?

Fireworks have become a symbol and trademark of our liberty. They define our brilliance, our diversity and our strength as a nation. They remind us of the explosions that had far greater consequences more than 200 years ago.

It would not be hard for the city to set some reasonable guidelines for the use of fireworks. We could establish acceptable hours of use. We could set policies that include where the use of fireworks is permissible, such as a required 20-foot setback from a neighbor’s property.

In America, you have the right to define the course of your life, and that means you have the right to be stupid.

If we don’t stand for stupidity, then what will we stand for?

The Biddeford City Council will hold a second reading on its proposed fireworks ordinance on Tuesday, April 3.

I don’t wanna be right

The most vocal supporters of President Obama’s push to reform our nation’s health care system will invariably say that health care is a “fundamental right.”

The so-called “right to affordable health care” has become the mantra and favorite talking point for those who say health care in the United States ought to look a lot more like it does in other countries, including Canada, Norway, Sweden or Denmark.

These folks generally support a single-payer system of health care, which resembles the current Medicaid program and effectively eliminates the need for private insurance.

But is health care — or even access to health care — a right?

In our first installment (Money for Nothing), we followed up on questions posed by Biddeford Mayor Alan Casavant on his Facebook page:

So the moral question is: What should a society do in such situations? What should government do? Do we act, or do we allow the laws of Darwin to supersede our compassion, integrity and our humanity? The system is broken. . .”

Although we previously discussed the difference between health “insurance” and health “care,” Casavant’s questions also beg a discussion about where morality and government should — or should not — intersect.

Casavant’s questions also prompt a more focused pondering of how our nation defines “rights.”

The second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence is probably a good place to start when examining the concept, definition and limitations of “rights” held by the American people:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Reading that sentence it becomes crystal clear our nation’s Founders understood basic rights come from a higher power than government. And this is a fundamental point.

Government cannot bestow rights; otherwise government can take away rights.

Your rights are yours, with or without a government.

The government’s limited role, as defined by both the Declaration and the ensuing Constitution, is to secure and defend your individual rights as part of a much larger group.

But the Declaration of Independence also opens the door for a legitimate discussion and debate  about other “rights” beyond Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, which are described as being “among” other, non-specified rights.

The argument for health care as a right gained further legitimacy when our Founders drafted the Constitution. It is within this document that our Founders more fully explored the concept of government’s appropriate role in promoting the “general welfare.”

Although the subject of health care is not discussed in either the Declaration or the Constitution, it could be reasonably construed as much of a “right” as public education — another topic not specifically discussed in those documents.

During our nation’s formative years, there was no such thing as public education. Education was reserved for the privileged few who could afford it.

Today, however, most people generally agree that our nation is better off when our citizens have — at minimum — a certain level of education.

Although our nation continues to grapple and debate public education funding, those costs and the ensuing delivery system is much easier to control than the cost and delivery of health care.

And here’s where it gets really tricky.

If we declare health care as a “right,” how does that impact your other rights as an individual?

If the government provides your healthcare from cradle to grave, then does it not follow that the government can dictate your health choices and even many of your lifestyle choices?

If we allow government to take care of us, are we not abdicating our individual pursuit of happiness?

I moved out of my parents’ home because I was ready to enjoy my adult freedoms. I wanted to come and go as I pleased. I wanted to make my own choices about what I eat, when and where I sleep and all the other benefits of freedom.

If my pursuit of happiness includes a poor diet that includes a daily regimen of Big Macs and French Fries, are you responsible to help pay the cost of my inevitable need for a heart transplant?

We have established standards and limitations for public education.

We accept the fact that not every child will be able to attend Harvard or Yale. Of course, you have the “right” to apply, but those universities also have the right to reject your application.

If you want to make the moral case for public health care, what happens when your health care contradicts your neighbors rights to his/her religious beliefs?

During the Vietnam war, even our military made accommodations for drafted citizens to be conscientious objectors. If you are Catholic, should you be required to help pay for abortions and contraceptives?

Where do your rights as an individual end — or start — in a society that provides you with health care?

How much of your liberty are you willing to sacrifice for your safety?

One of the most ardent opponents of smoking was Adolph Hitler, a man who envisioned a nation of supreme and physically fit citizens. Mentioning Hitler in this debate is intended to be inflammatory, only if to give us pause.

If you have the right to health care, does that mean that other people should financially support that right? If so, are there any limitations to how much health care any one individual wants or needs?

These are legitimate questions and not very convenient for either side of the debate.

If we propose that health care is a right, then we will need to completely reconstruct our health care system. We would have public doctors and nurses, whose employment contracts and salaries are negotiated by the government — just like teachers.

We would also have public health care clinics that are less desirable than their private counterparts.

In the end, those with money would have better access to service than those without money.

Sound familiar?

The hypocrisy found in these arguments is overwhelming.

We want our choices. We want our freedom, but we would prefer that the consequences of our individual choices are funded — at least in part — by other people.

Maybe it’s just time to move back in with mom and dad.

If you would like to further explore the arguments for and against the concept of health care as a right, you may want to visit this website.

Ready To Serve

GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney and Biddeford Mayor Alan Casavant had at least on thing in common on Tuesday.

Both men showed their detractors that they are as tough as nails and more than ready for a political fight.

READY TO SERVE: Michael ready is sworn-in by City Clerk Carmen Morris as the newest member of the Biddeford City Council

Although Casavant’s nomination of Michael Ready for the vacated Ward Seven council seat was approved by an unexpected 7-1 vote, it included more than 30 minutes of sometimes emotional and heated commentary.

The final outcome also caused a member of the city’s planning board to announce her resignation as a protest against what she described as nothing more than “political theater.”

But any lingering doubts about Casavant’s ability to move the council when needed quickly evaporated Tuesday.

Councilor Melissa Bednarowksi also proved she is more than willing to stand as the council’s lone voice of dissension.

At issue were two competing philosophies about who should be appointed to fill the council vacancy that was created last month when David Flood gave up his seat to again pursue a career as a newspaper publisher.

Councilors Melissa Bednarowski, Brad Cote and David Bourque listen to public comments about Mayor Casavant’s nomination of Mike Ready

Bill Sexton was one of three candidates who actively campaigned for the seat in November, but finished in second place behind Flood.

Ready previously served on the council, and Casavant said Ready’s prior experience — especially since the council is facing the prospects of  a daunting budget debate — is what mattered.

Casavant remained steely eyed during the floor debate, signaling confidence in his ability to shore up the votes he needed.

But many of the councilors seemed torn, and at times appeared emotional and wavering with their decision.

“This is a tough situation,” said Councilor David Bourque, looking toward the audience, where both Ready and Sexton were seated with their family members. “It’s a tough spot for us to be in.”

IF LOOKS COULD KILL — Council President Rick Laverierre and Mayor Alan Casavant seemed tense during public comments about the nomination of Mike Ready

Council President Rick Laverierre, however, said the council had a sworn obligation to uphold Casavant’s appointment unless they could offer a compelling reason why Ready should be disqualified from service.

“I, too, find myself in a quandary,” Laverierre explained. “But we need to remember we’re talking about the charter, and the charter is clear about how we should approach this.”

Councilor Roch Angers said he felt physically ill about the dilemma.

“I feel sick to my stomach for both of these men,” Angers said. “It should be the people saying how things go. We should be listening to the input of people from Ward Seven.”

Angers, who helped the mayor during last year’s campaign, then questioned Casavant directly, asking him if he would consider Sexton for nomination.

The mayor did not flinch. “I have a nomination on the table,” he replied curtly.

The tension in the room was palpable.

Councilor Richard Rhames voiced concerns about Ready’s appointment, reminding his fellow councilors that Ready was one of the “MERC 5,” a group of five city councilors who approved a controversial, five-year extension of the city’s contract with the Maine Energy Recovery Company in 2007.

Members of the public were equally divided on the issue. Sexton’s parents and his son all addressed the council, urging them to support Bill Sexton, but also praised Ready.

“Mike [Ready] is a nice man, but Mike didn’t run for the seat,” Sue Sexton told the council.

Sexton said she understood why Ready wants to help the city now, but reminded councilors that her son ran a hard campaign and went door-to-door, looking for votes and listening to residents’ concerns.

Bill Sexton also praised Ready, but had strong words for the mayor.

“The mayor knows nothing about me,” Sexton said. “He never called me. I have been referred to as a puppet, or maybe it’s because [I’m a Republican] or because I supported the casino. I don’t know, but I just want a shot at what I worked so hard for.”

Bill Sexton (right) told reporters he will likely stay involved in city politics and said he was disappointed that the mayor refused to even consider him as a potential nominee.

Sexton closed his remarks by reminding Casavant of his mayoral campaign pledge to be a “positive, professional” mayor.

“I ran my own campaign in a positive, professional way,” Sexton said. “This should be about what’s best for the city. The charter gives you the power to appoint but that does not mean you should just pick your friends.”

Judy Neveaux, a resident who also worked on Casavant’s campaign, reminded the council that Casavant was supported by an overwhelming margin of voters in November.

“The people clearly trust this mayor to do what is right for our city,” she said. “I think it’s important to let the mayor do his job.”

Although the comments were often tense and sometimes pointed, resident Ron Peaker brought the evening to an all-time low by accusing Flood of being “dishonest” about his intentions during the campaign.

Bill Sexton later denounced Peaker’s remarks, calling them “inappropriate and pure speculation.”

Just moments after Ready was sworn in by City Clerk Carmen Morris, Sue Sexton asked the mayor if she could approach the podium. She thanked Ready for his willingness to serve and wished him well.

Sue Sexton told All Along the Watchtower that she would be resigning her seat from the Planning Board as a protest to Casavant’s appointment.

“Despite all the things he said during his campaign, it has become painfully honest that our new mayor is just playing political favorites,” she said.

My shirt looks good on you

You know a political nerve has been pinched when Rush Limbaugh apologizes for comments he made on his national radio show.

Rush’s outrageous comments about Sandra Fluke ignited a deafening outcry from women’s groups and reproductive rights advocates this week, and several of his advertisers are now distancing themselves.

Because this is a presidential election year; and because Rush is an unabashedly conservative pundit, his comments are being used by Democrats to underscore the notion that Republicans are waging a war against women.

Nothing like a bit of hypocrisy just a few days before Super Tuesday.

Check the cheering and applause that HBO talk show host Bill Maher received when he described Sarah Palin as a “dumb twat.”

A few nervous giggles, but applause nonetheless…

So, if a Republican commentator demeans women with vitriolic commentary we gather the pitchforks and demand his head on a stick.

But if a liberal commentator does the same thing, we laugh or just look the other way. Is that how it works?

Make no mistake, both Rush Limbaugh and Bill Maher are pigs, and their outrageous comments should be condemned by everyone with a pulse, regardless of political affiliation.

California Governor Jerry Brown, a former presidential candidate, apologized for comments that were attributed to him and/or his staff, describing Republican opponent Meg Whitman as a whore during the gubernatorial campaign.

From my perspective, an apology doesn’t cut it.

George Will got it right when he said the word “inappropriate” is far too tame for describing Rush Limbaugh’s comments.

“Inappropriate is when you use your salad fork for your entrée,” Will quipped on ABC’s Good Morning America, saying Republicans are too tepid in their response and afraid of Limbaugh and his massive audience.

Violence against women begins when we give ourselves permission to demean them with our discourse.

As the father of two young men, I have an inherent obligation to speak out about the pervasive nature of gender violence and misogyny.

As an amateur pundit, I just wonder why it’s somehow funny when Bill Maher calls a woman a twat, yet outrageous when Rush Limbaugh infers that a woman is a slut.

Dean Scontras, the Republican who challenged Chellie Pingree in the 2010 First District Congressional race, is also bothered by the crystal-clear hypocrisy.

On his Facebook page, Scontras said that until those who sympathize with the left express equal outrage over Maher’s remarks about Palin, they should remain silent about Rush Limbaugh’s comments.

I disagree.

Although I despise the hypocrisy, remaining silent about Rush Limbaugh’s vile  commentary just because Bill Maher was equally (or arguably more) offensive, only serves to amplify and allow a very real war against women to fester – – if only beneath the surface.

Thus, it is now time for my own public apology.

Last week, I penned a post entitled I’m Done Sharing My Wife.

Although I am confident that people who know me understand the context of my satirical commentary, my words were immediately thrust onto the stage of public discourse via the power of the internet.

A very wise woman once told me that words are like toothpaste. Once you squeeze them out, it is virtually impossible to put them back in their container.

So, I will not edit or delete that post. I will leave it where it remains as a constant reminder of my own hypocrisy.

And, hopefully, my willingness to at least acknowledge my own boorish behavior will serve as an example for how not to behave.

A communications crisis? Gimme a break!

Some people say that our national political discourse is out of control and filled, more than ever before, with the rancor and tension of partisan politics that threatens to destroy the fabric of our united nation.

Take, for example, this bit of tripe from today’s Portland Press Herald:

“If Sen. Olympia Snowe is really retiring from the U.S. Senate because she can’t stand the poisonous partisanship in Congress – and we have no reason to doubt her word on that score – then Maine is paying a terrible price for the rancor that has become business as usual in Washington, D.C.”

Still others say that Snowe’s departure signals the extinction of so-called “moderate” Republicans.

Hogwash!

We only need look just beyond Maine’s borders to find moderate Republicans, such as Senator Kelly Ayotte of New Hampshire or Senator Scott Brown of Massachusetts.

Not to mention that no one could reasonably say Lamar Alexander of Tennessee, Utah’s Orrin Hatch or John McCain are anywhere near Tea Party favorites.

Hatch was a close personal friend of the liberal lion, the late Senator Ted Kennedy, and they worked closely on several pieces of legislation.

Former Maine Senator Edmund Muskie

If anything, there is far too much moderation in the Senate and not enough people to stand up and cry foul when necessary. But the media won’t tell you that.

Why? Well, have you ever watched C-SPAN? It’s more boring than watching paint dry.

More than 99.9 percent of the time, both parties in Congress are working cooperatively and doing a super-duper, stand-up job of figuring out how to further screw the people they supposedly represent.

The system is not broken. It’s fixed.

But the media likes to focus on the Rand Paul’s of the world, or the banality of Rep Joe Wilson (R-SC) who shouted, “You lie!” during a State of the Union Address by President Obama.

That kind of partisan hype makes for better Facebook updates and newspaper headlines than the recent bipartisan push to reauthorize the Defense Spending Act; or last month’s transferring of budget line-item veto power to the president, a scary proposition for all of us, depending on who is sitting in the Oval Office.

Did you see that in the newspaper or on your favorite blog?

Rep. Joe Wilson (R-South Carolina)

And let us not forget what happened just a few days after the “history calls” moment, when Snowe voted along party lines to ultimately reject passage of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, more commonly known as Obamacare.

That nugget seemed especially important for Snowe to mention during last month’s Republican caucuses in Maine, where she was facing primary challenges from more conservative candidates.

Reportedly, Snowe votes along party lines nearly 75 percent of the time. Good for her! She’s a Republican, what do you expect? But does breaking ranks one out of four times make you a moderate? Please.

We have become a nation of sheep, bleating for civility and warm, fuzzy sentiment.

But what about Nancy Pelosi’s statements when the House was finally able to pass the controversial health care reform bill? We won…deal with it. Should Democrats be a bit more moderate and side more often with Republicans?

We conveniently forget the rancor that dominated the Continental Congress, the Burr-Hamilton duel, the partisanship that led to the Civil War, the impeachment of President Andrew Johnson, the communists-hunting era of Joe McCarthy or the vitriol expressed by Barry Goldwater, not to mention the more recent call for President Clinton’s impeachment.

Maine people, especially, should be mindful of those lessons and our place in history.

Look at how the GOP slung mud at Ed Muskie; or consider the wisdom of Margaret Chase Smith as she chastised McCarthy: “Have you no shame, sir?”

Instead of heeding the mindless, perfunctory analysis of media pundits, maybe we all should crack a history book every once in a while.

For a fun, yet historically accurate, reminder about our nation’s political discourse and the angry words used by our founding fathers, check out this video.

Why can’t we be friends? Part II

If you can’t find Biddeford Mayor Alan Casavant on Facebook, maybe you should have donated more to his campaign.

Actually, Casavant “took down” his “Biddeford Mayor Alan Casavant” page after learning that it violated city policy.

“After I learned that, I wanted to set a good example,” Casavant said. “So I immediately took it down.”

According to Casavant, the city is expected to review its computer policy in the next few days. The standing policy prohibits city officials and city employees from having websites or Facebook pages to discuss, promote or opine about city business.”

Casavant and other city officials and employees may, however, have their own personal page but it cannot be construed as an “official” page either by reference or inference.

For the seven people in the United States who are not friends with Alan Casavant on his personal Facebook, maybe you should send a friend request instead of making assumptions that you were banned.

Just sayin’….

I’m done sharing my wife

Keep your paws off!

Is that clear enough?

Well . . . apparently, I was a bit unclear last week, when I wrote about rumors regarding who Mayor Alan Casavant might appoint to a vacant city council seat.

Although I put to bed the notion that Casavant would nominate me ( or that I would accept such an appointment), some people have speculated that my wife, Laura, would be appointed.

Laura Seaver

I seriously doubt that Casavant ever considered Laura as an appointment, but just in case: I’ve got news for you, the bearded mayor and for anyone else looking to get freaky with my woman: My wife swapping days are over!

In her most recent column, titled Processes, procedures and proposed politicians, Molly Lovell Keely, editor of the Biddeford-Saco-OOB Courier, dazzles us with her penchant for alliteration.

Keely also speculates that Laura Seaver, my Laura Seaver!, may be on some kind of short list of possible nominees for the council seat.

For more than four years, Laura served on the Biddeford School Committee.

During those four years, our family suffered immense pain.

The second and fourth Tuesdays of every month became a living hell for me and the boys. There was no one here to cook our dinner, to rub our feet, to read us our bed time stories.

That’s it! Enough is enough! I’m done!

I’ve put in almost 10 years of training Laura, instructing her about how to be a good wife, and I’m not going to share my hard work and resources with Casavant or any other elected official in Biddeford.

For the record, Laura is making progress with her good wife skills, and now sorts whites and colors for the laundry. She picks up my dry-cleaning when instructed. Her cooking skills are slowly improving, but her back-rub skills need work and lots more practice.

Hint: If you want a good wife, find a woman before she learns to read. It’s much easier to train them. Otherwise, they start getting all sorts of ideas about being independent and having their own opinions.

So that’s it. I hope this is clear enough. And I will speak to Brian Keely, reminding him that his wife-training regimen needs work.

Editor’s Note: Before all you women out there get your panties in a bunch, this is satire. It’s a short word and should be easy enough for you to comprehend. If you still have doubts, check the video below. Laura is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I do not deserve her.

A hazy shade of winter

It is Sunday morning, and I still cannot shake the groaning internal dialogue and the shivers that seized my spine less than 48 hours ago.

Maybe it was the photos: those black and white testaments to days of old, when men were men and felt invincible despite all evidence to the contrary.

Maybe it was the fruit punch or the company I was keeping on Friday night.

But whatever the reason, and regardless of the catalyst that triggered it, the ghosts were there and in full-force.

My mind drifted as I walked down Main Street in Biddeford under a cover of darkness sliced by a full-winter moon.

And it did not take long for the taunting to begin.

At first, it was just a collection of whispers; hard to distinguish above the din of passing cars and the music throbbing from an outdoor speaker at the Wonderbar Restaurant.

I tried to ignore the ghosts and their playful taunts, focusing my eyes on the young couple having dinner at a window table in Bebe’s Burritos, nodding to the young men who passed me on their way to the Oak and Axe.

But with each step along the sidewalk, the whispering became more defined and harder to ignore.

I kept my head down low, and took a long drag from my cigarette. I was on my way to meet Laura for dinner. I had neither the time nor the inclination to engage in this foolishness.

But the ghosts would not let go.

“It is a good night,” I heard one of them say. “Our city is back, there is life here.”

“Yas, baby,” another ghost responded between sips of Canadian Club whiskey from his hip flask. “We will not be forgotten or ignored by these punks.”

I pulled up my collar and steadied my course toward my waiting wife and the Chinese restaurant.

I could hear the sound of brawls from the Water Street tenement buildings, where tired mill workers were drinking warm Schmidt beers on a cold February night.

In a forgotten, smoke-filled, back room — in a building that no longer stands — Renald and Gilbert were arguing about Dempsey and playing their card game.

The stench of coal from the gasification plant was stifling. The second shift textile workers were counting the hours, and a line was gathering outside the Lightning Club, where young bucks combed their hair full of grease, and the school girls from St. Andre’s giggled with delight.

Further down the street, Sal Mineo’s name was illuminated on a marquee. The short-order cook from the Puritan — taking a quick cigarette break in an Alfred Street alleyway — nodded at me, before fading into the bricks of today’s reality.

I paused there for a moment — at the intersection of Alfred and Main Street, maybe a quarter-mile from the banks of the Saco River — feeling strangely content, despite my disquieting thoughts.

The ghosts — as many as 12 of them — kept walking, laughing as they continued down the street.

Only a few minutes prior I made an observation to others who also attended the opening of “The Way We Were” photo exhibit at the upper end of Main Street.

“When our economy worsens, our communities seem to become stronger,” I hypothesized. “Just like when the immigrants first came here in search of prosperity in the land of the free and the brave, we celebrate with one another and share common resources when not distracted by the lustre of individual gains.

“We know that we are okay, because we celebrate and commiserate with our neighbors, our friends and our peers.

“We are stronger, when we are together. We are better.”

Now, standing in the foyer of that Chinese restaurant, I could feel the warmth of the city streets.

And I could not help but think of my old friend Bob Dodge, a man I miss almost every day. A man who loved this city, the way a groom loves his bride on their wedding day.

It’s been three years since I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Bob’s infectious smile.

But I knew that Bob Dodge would be smiling tonight on the eve of La Fete d’ Hiver.

This kid who grew up in a Quimby Street triple-decker, left an unmistakable mark on his beloved hometown.

Who could be better to lead this community’s economic and community development efforts than a local boy  inspired by the Kennedy brothers and motivated by sheer passion and will?

I looked down the street, watching those laughing, joyful ghosts as they faded over the diminishing hill just beyond my view. “Hey, Bob,” I whispered . . . wondering if he was there.

Maybe it was my imagination. Maybe it was wishful thinking.

But I swear, he paused and turned back from his group, waving to me in the darkness.

“It’s okay, Randy” he shouted back. “Go have dinner, relax. Me and the boys will be back.”

And with that . . . the ghosts disappeared, fading into the mid-February darkness, and I was left only with the lingering words of French poet Arthur Rimbaud:

“Qu’il vienne, qu’l vienne! Les temps dont s’eprenne.”

All the young dudes

What was up with 1992 and the name Ryan?

Of course, we all know the fictional Jack Ryan.

You know, . . .the humble Tom Clancy character who routinely saved the world from a cadre of evil forces while also writing a thesis about the importance of granola in the post-Soviet socio-economic structure.

Ryan Gavin

But what about the other guys named Ryan? The ones who were born in 1992 and grew up in Biddeford?

One of them made a short-lived bid to be Biddeford’s mayor, and the other one is wreaking havoc with the city charter.

Both Ryan Gavin and Ryan Fecteau are all of 20 years old, and, make no mistake: they are politically ambitious.

Nearly a year ago, Ryan Gavin, fresh off the heels of learning how to shave and graduating from high school, decided he was the most qualified person to become Biddeford’s next mayor.

After all, Gavin had all sorts of  experience built up after serving two terms as an un-elected student representative on the Biddeford School Committee and a valid driver’s license.

Sadly, he was more qualified than many others who tried to become the city’s mayor. Karl Reed’s 2009 campaign comes to mind.

Ryan Gavin put on his best Sunday suit and a pair of sunglasses to make his public announcement from the back stairs of City Hall on a weekend afternoon.

Sadly, the media actually covered this event that included 11 people listening to a kid who looked an awful lot like John Belushi’s character from the Blues Brothers.

Jake was on a mission from God. Ryan was on a mission to save Biddeford from the clutches of Darth Vader, more commonly known ’round here as former mayor Joanne Twomey.

Gavin was smart enough to remove his sunglasses halfway through his press conference.

He was also smart enough to  quickly figure out he had a snowball’s chance in hell of ever getting elected in a city brimming with old people who vote like clock-work.

Ryan Gavin eventually became an important part of Alan Casavant’s mayoral campaign team.

Let’s pause for just a moment and give out a shout-out to Ryan Gavin’s parents.

If I could be half the parent that Ryan’s parents were, I would be thrilled and could die feeling as if I accomplished something decent in my lifetime.

Ryan was an exceptional student at BHS. He is, today, an exceptional student at UMO.

He is polite, smart, articulate and — unlike many of his peers — he not only cares about what is going on in the world around him, he’s also willing to step up and fight for it.

Ryan Fecteau

All of which brings us to our next point: Ryan Fecteau, a 2010 graduate of Biddeford High School who also served as a student representative on the School Committee.

In November, Fecteau began what will probably be a long and notable political career by actually winning an election.

Fecteau was one of five people elected to serve as a commissioner on the city’s charter review commission, a previously described group of dorks who want to sit around and debate whether the city’s bylaws should include more semicolons.

There were seven slots available and only five candidates on the ballot, so it’s not like Fecteau proved himself to be a tactical genius.

But you still have to respect a kid who is willing to tinker with the city’s charter when most young men his age are doing more important things like getting laid or drinking beer.

But not everyone in Biddeford is happy about Ryan Fecteau’s grand plans for Biddeford.

In fact, during last weekend’s downtown winter festival, I heard some people complain that Fecteau is actually living in Washington DC and is unable to attend the charter meetings in person. I wish I had figured out how to do that.

His critics also said he was trying to ram through “a lot of stupid ideas.”

So, I picked up the phone and called him, half-expecting to get his receptionist who would politely tell me that Congressman Fecteau was in a meeting with the Secretary of Commerce but appreciates my concerns and will have a form letter sent to me.

Actually, Fecteau is a sophomore at Catholic University of America, and it should come as no surprise that he is studying political science.

Fecteau said he saw an opportunity to get more involved in Biddeford politics, and he seized it.

“It’s a rare opportunity, even though we had a charter commission five years ago, who knows when I would have another chance to do this work,” he said.

When asked his opinion about the city’s police and fire commissions (two of the charter’s more controversial items), Fecteau said he would like to see the two combined, if not eliminated.

So far, so good. The city of Biddeford has more commissions and committees than the state of New York.

Fecteau also says he will only miss one more of the commission’s seven monthly meetings.

“The telephone is not a new invention,” he patiently explained to this over-40 geezer.

Asked to explain one of his recent Facebook posts in which he described Joanne Twomey as “a real Democrat” when compared to State Rep. Paulette Beaudoin, also a Democrat who may be challenged for her seat by Twomey in the June 12 primary, Fecteau chose his words carefully.

“I don’t agree with Joanne on everything,” he said. “Paulette is my neighbor, and we’ve had many, many conversations. The Democratic Party has a plank for a reason. I just think Joanne would be a better advocate for many of the party’s core issues.”

Again, so far…so good, but then we started talking about one of his new ideas.

Fecteau would like to see voting day moved to Saturdays instead of Tuesdays. He thinks such a move will increase voter turnout, completely forgetting that such a move would require Biddeford voters to go to the polls twice in one week: once for state and national elections, and then again for local elections.

“Yeah, I guess that’s an idea that needs more work,” he conceded.

I also told him Saturday voting would infringe upon the voting rights of normal college sophomores who spend the bulk of their weekends drinking beer and getting laid.

But for all you old farts who think these young punks ought to learn how to tie their shoes before running around and changing our government, you ought to take another sip of your Geritol and consider this:

There was a young punk from Bangor who got elected to his city council at the age of 23 before becoming one of the youngest state senators in the Maine Legislature. That little twirp named Johnny went on to serve in the U.S. Congress before becoming Maine’s 73rd governor.

On the other side of the political aisle, another young punk from Bangor became the youngest person to ever get elected to the Maine Legislature. Tarren Bragdon, former CEO of the Maine Heritage Policy Center, has had a big impact on Maine politics and public policy.

And no one should forget the impacts of two of our nation’s youngest presidents, Republican Teddy Roosevelt (42) and Democrat John F. Kennedy (43). Of course, Roosevelt was not elected at 42 because he was sworn-in after President McKinley was assassinated, but still . . . the U.S. Constitution says you can be president when you’re 35; a senator once you hit 30 or a member of the House at age 25.

Congressman Fecteau?… it’s not as implausible as you may think.

Can You Hear Me Scream . . . now?

By RANDY SEAVER

NOTE | This piece was originally published in February 2012, and its headline came from a rather long-winded 2007 letter to the editor that was written in the voice of the Lincoln Mill clock tower in Biddeford.

The clock tower’s 2007 letter was actually written by Greg Bennett, but it was never submitted for publication.

ABANDONED AND ROTTING | After being removed from its perch the clocktower remained by the side of Lincoln Street for several months. SEAVER | Feb. 2012

Bennett’s letter, written from the clock tower’s perspective, was intended as a response to another letter that was published in the Journal Tribune about the clock tower and its removal from atop the Lincoln Mill building.

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A Cry For Help

Bennett’s five-page, single-spaced, typewritten letter to the editor about the Lincoln Mill Clock Tower drips with irony, anger and sadness.

It tells the story of the Lincoln Mill Clock Tower’s removal and gutting. It chastises the community for not stepping up to save it. It ponders the injustice of the tower’s fate and paints a complicated portrait of apathy, political impotence and despair.

Bennett has some serious skin in this particular game.  He and his business partner, Chris Betjemann, purchased the former Lincoln Mill building just days after its clock tower was removed from a perch that overlooks the city’s downtown.

Perhaps no one is more upset about the clock’s removal than these two men who agreed to pay more than a million dollars for the property and then spent several weeks in York County Superior Court and a lot more money fighting to prevent the clock tower’s dismantling.

“It made us sick,” Bennett recalled during a recent interview. “Too many people make assumptions about the tower. Too many people have no idea about what really happened or about what we intend to do with the clock tower’s remains.”

Betjemann, who unsuccessfully sought an at-large seat on the Biddeford City Council in November, says most people would be shocked if they “knew the truth” about the clock tower’s removal.

“I’ve had people accuse me of ruining the city’s skyline,” Betjemann said. “That’s so far from the truth that I don’t even know where to begin. We are the ones who want to put the tower back up. It would be easier and a lot less costly for us to just scrap the remains, but that’s not what we want to do.”

In fact, Bennett and Betjemann recently had a meeting with Mayor Alan Casavant to discuss the clock tower and their plans to restore the structure.

THE ORIGINAL CLOCKWORKS | More photos by Randy Seaver here

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A Bit of History | A New Owner

Bennett, a principal of Odyssey Properties, says he and Betjemann still have big plans for the five-story building they purchased nearly five years ago from Gordon McDonald and Michael Scott.

But Bennett also says it’s important for the community to understand a bit of local history in order to appreciate the new owners’ vision for the iconic downtown building.

For starters, most people don’t know that the clock tower was actually a transplant. The clock tower was originally placed atop another downtown building before it was moved to the Lincoln Mill building. The clock tower’s former home is today nothing more than a faded memory, long since gone from the city’s landscape.

More recently, in 2000, the building’s former owners announced that they needed to remove the clock tower because of “structural concerns and potential liability issues.”

That announcement sent an emotional shockwave through the community and served as the catalyst for the formation of Friends of the Clock Tower, a non-profit group that intended to raise money for the tower’s repair and preservation.

Disclosure notice: I served as vice president of Friends of the Clock Tower.

McDonald and Scott agreed to allow the new group some time to raise money. If the new group could raise the money, the building’s owners said they would sign a conservation easement that would guarantee the clock tower’s preservation for public access and historical appreciation.

For the next two years, the Friends of the Clock Tower attempted to raise the estimated $200,000 needed to make the repairs and needed improvements.

A FAILED ATTEMPT | Randy Seaver, then editor of the Biddeford-Saco Courier, was also the vice president of Friends of the Clocktower, a non-profit group established in 2000 to save the Lincoln Mill clocktower. The group conducted a day-long telethon on the roof of City Hall, but all of their efforts failed, Donations raised were returned to donors and/or given to the Biddeford Historical Society

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The group held a series of meetings and established itself as a 501(c)3 corporation. A fundraising telethon was conducted and televised on the city’s public access television station from the rooftop of nearby Biddeford City Hall.

Rob Tillotson, principal of Oak Point Associates, volunteered his services to the group. Tillotson said the tower was structurally sound and only needed some minor repairs.

The building’s former owners, however, held their ground and continued expressing concerns about the tower’s condition and potential liability.

Recognizing that the building was private property, the Friends of the Clock Tower briefly considered purchasing a liability insurance policy but soon learned it would be a tricky proposition for a non-profit group to insure a piece of privately owned property.

So, the group continued its fundraising campaign and applied for state and federal historic preservation grants.

But the larger community seemed generally apathetic, and the Friends of the Clock Tower fell far short of its fundraising goal.The non-profit group was eventually disbanded, and the money raised was returned to donors with the balance given to the Biddeford Historical Society.

The community failed and the clock tower’s fate seemed doomed.

CLOCKTOWER HEYDAY | This photo — on display at Biddeford City Hall — shows a view of the former Lincoln Mill, a 250,000-square-foot building that once produced textile products. Today, the clocktower has been removed and the downtown building has been converted into a luxury hotel with a rooftop swimming pool and a high-end cocktail lounge and distillery in the basement.