Song of Toledo

[An open letter to my hyper-partisan Democrat friends]

Apparently, not everyone got the memo, so please allow me to share some rather difficult news.

Before reading any further, be sure to find an appropriate safe place, clutch your emotional support animal and take a comforting sip of your venti-mocha, cinnamon swirl, iced whatever the fuck it is — the cup of coffee that costs more than replacement vinyl siding — and try to get your fragile heads wrapped around this difficult news.

It’s been more than a month. It’s time for you to accept reality:

You lost the election. Trump won, and he is going to be the next president of the United States.

Now, I don’t necessarily blame you for being upset about this news.

I didn’t vote for the son-of-a-bitch either, but you should know that the reality fairy carries a two by four, and sometimes the truth hurts – but it is still the truth, and the truth often includes difficult consequences that are sometimes hard to swallow.

It’s been 30 days. Your grieving period is over. It is now time for the adults to stand up, brush themselves off and come up with a new game plan for the next battle.

According to my always anecdotal observations, many people would apparently like to be mummified and put away in a self-storage space for the next four years.

For the more affluent among you, another option is just to abandon the burning ship.  Apparently, some of you purchased your first-class tickets for one of the limited number of lifeboats that will carry you to the relative safety of distant shores, where you can safely watch the third-class passengers as they cling for life.

This chicken-shit option really showcases both the hypocrisy and arrogance of the Hollywood elite: Robert DeNiro, Tom Hanks, George Clooney  and Ellen DeGeneres are able to pick up and simply begin new lives in Portugal, Demark, Iceland or some other perfect country where most everyone is entitled to a mid-day nap while relying on the U.S. military for protection from the bad guys.

But what we really need right now is some people who are actually going to step up their game. These are the times when leaders are born. When character matters most.

When the shit hits the fan, who among us is going to step up? Who is going to lead us beyond self-pity and blaming our neighbors?

For a party that so often squawks about words like “diversity” and “inclusion,” it is stunning to see just how fast the fingers get pointed in an outward fashion.

I have some tough news for you: People living in Philadelphia are Americans. So are the people who live in Topeka, Kansas.

We’re all in this together, and we’re all gonna need to roll up our sleeves and commit ourselves to the prospect of working together, the Democrats, the Republicans and those millions of Americans who shun political labels.

Unfortunately, I’m not optimistic that we will be able to rally, to work across the aisle for the common ground.

But in the meantime, the hard left simply cannot avoid some difficult and very painful questions. Instead of just blaming Trump or his supporters for this situation, it is now time for some painful introspection.

The first question for my liberal friends should be this: how the fuck did we lose to Trump?

It’s sort of like running a marathon and then finishing the race behind a 325-pound, 73-year-old man who eats a dozen donuts every day.

What the hell went wrong?

Some of you describe Trump as the devil-incarnate. I’m not so sure that you’re wrong with the assessment, but for Cripe’s sake, could the bar have been set any lower for you?

The future is never set in stone – and we need (bear with me here) to be open to the idea – the remote possibility — that Trump may actually do something good for the country in the next four years.

Okay. The game season is over now. The other team is walking off the field with the gold ball. What do we do now?

Cry? Throw a tantrum? Abandon ship? Spend the next four years pointing fingers?

Or do we acknowledge that we have some work to do, whether you live in Topeka or Philadelphia.

It is time for Americans to be Americans.

P.S. If you’re going to respond, surprise me and don’t mention Trump.

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