The United States is a deeply flawed nation, but it is an exceptional country. We must always strive toward equality and remember that life is not fair.
Dear Carl,
Today is the Fourth of July, and there is still a little more than four months remaining before you are expected to arrive in the earth’s atmosphere.
There are so many things I want to tell you. So many things I want to share.
Through these ongoing notes, rants and pieces of unsolicited advice, I hope I can help you — at least in some small way — achieve your destiny by becoming a free man. It’s not as easy as it sounds.
Today, the United States of America will celebrate the 250th anniversary of when our nation was born – the date when we took great risks to break free and establish our independence.
Our country is an ongoing experiment, a Democratic Republic founded upon the bedrock principle – a proposition — that we are all created equal.
I hate to tell you this, Carl but’s it’s just not true. We are not all created equally.
Don’t blame the president, members of Congress or the guy down the street.
Blame God. That near insufferable prick made it impossible for any of us – whether we live in the United States, Mexico, Germany, Pakistan or Denmark – to ever be truly equal.
God – a concept or an entity that I strongly believe in – creates each and every one of us in a way that is unknown to us. God creates all us as inherently flawed beings for a distinct and unique purpose.
The hard part, Carl is figuring out what God intended of us. The hard part is determining our destiny,
I’ll be talking more about God in future posts, but for now I want to help you avoid resentment or confusion that comes attached with expectations.
A very wise man taught me that expectations are nothing more than premediated resentments.
I am sorry to be the one to break this to you, Carl: Life is not — never has been – and never will be fair.
Equal and Fair are tricky words, Carl — and they both come with all sorts of dangerous expectations that cause anger, resentment and life-long suffering.
The sooner you embrace the concept that life is not fair, the happier you will be.
Life is not — never has been
– and never will be fair.
There is a flip side to today’s lesson, Carl.
Though we are inherently not equal — we must always strive to treat one another equally.
That was what Thomas Jefferson was getting at when he wrote the Declaration of Independence 250 years ago.
Jefferson wrote that “all men are endowed with fundamental, inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”
Let’s not get all bent out of shape that Jefferson used “men” instead of people. His intention was to discuss “mankind,” meaning all humans.
Language changes over time, Carl. It’s best not to let it trip you up.
But there is a certain hypocrisy to Jefferson – a man who owned slaves – writing that all men are equal.
It is easy for me as an affluent white man to pontificate about Jefferson’s intent, but it should not be forgotten that our founders were passionate about creating a nation of fundamental political equality — declaring that no individual was born with an inherent divine right to rule over others.
Our founders were men who lived under the tyranny of a king, an arbitrary ruler selected only because of his lineage. Very few kings are benevolent.
But America – despite its beautiful design — is far from perfect, Carl.
Our nation was built on the enslavement of Black Americans and the subjugation of women and Native Americans.
America – despite its beautiful
design — is far from perfect, Carl.
But I believe – to my core – that the United States is an exceptional nation – that our country holds great promise and that we are – despite all of our challenges and flaws – a beacon to the rest of the world.
People like Elizabeth Cady Stanton at the Seneca Falls Convention and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. have consistently reminded us that we must always push to become what our founding fathers envisioned – a place where all citizens are treated equally.
The bad news? We’re not there yet.
The good news? We’re making good progress.
. . .
You must remember that happiness is not promised, nor guaranteed.
You do not have the right to be happy, nor should you ever expect anyone else – through their own labor or sacrifice – to provide you with anything other than to be treated equally.
Remember what Jefferson wrote: you are free to pursue happiness, but your satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Life is not fair, Carl.
Some people are born with terrible diseases. Some people are taller than other people. Some people are born in Somalia; others are born in Hawaii.
There will always be others with more than you, and there will always be others with less than you. It all comes down to perspective, Carl.
You are free to succeed, Carl. And I know that you will.
NOTES TO CARL | LESSONS IN MEDIOCRITY 
What a miserable, one-sided view of America and life. This is the last thing I’d want to pass on to my grandchildren. Instead of teaching them pride, gratitude, and perspective, you’re teaching them to see America as little more than a collection of failures.
Name one country that has accomplished more in just 250 years. America has done more to expand freedom, opportunity, and individual rights than almost any nation in history. It isn’t perfect, and never has been, but neither has any other country. The difference is that America has consistently moved forward and corrected many of its mistakes.
And let’s stop pretending slavery began here. It didn’t. Slavery existed for thousands of years across Africa, Europe, the Middle East, and Asia before the United States even existed, and it still exists today in parts of Africa, the Middle East, and elsewhere. In the Americas, the Irish were among the first people enslaved by the English. European colonists introduced slavery long before the United States became a nation, and America eventually fought a bloody civil war to end legal slavery and has continued expanding civil rights ever since. Ignoring that history while focusing only on America’s failures is dishonest.
Your grandson deserves better than a constant lesson in guilt and pessimism. He deserves to know that America, despite its flaws, has been one of the greatest forces for freedom, prosperity, and human progress the world has ever seen. This essay doesn’t educate him. It teaches him to resent his own country before he even has the chance to understand it. Did you read that when you cracked a history book?
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Do you want to remain anonymous, or do you have the courage of your convictions to reveal your identity.
You latched on one paragraph in an essay of 820 words. Apparently, your were so emotionally triggered by my words that you are unable to grasp the thrust of the essay.
Here’s what you missed in that same essay: “But I believe – to my core – that the United States is an exceptional nation – that our country holds great promise and that we are – despite all of our challenges and flaws – a beacon to the rest of the world.”
Maybe take a deep breath. The essay was not about slavery, but it also did NOT gloss over FACTS that seem to make you mighty uncomfortable
I told my grandson that our country has flaws, but that living as a victim and pointing fingers is no way to live. I told my grandson not to resent those who have more wealth or have achieved success. I reminded him repeatedly that “life is not fair.”
The essay was about honesty and self-reliance. Here’s something else you missed or conveniently ignored in the same essay: “You do not have the right to be happy, nor should you ever expect anyone else – through their own labor or sacrifice – to provide you with anything other than to be treated equally.”
And here’s something else you missed in that same essay: “Today, the United States of America will celebrate the 250th anniversary of when our nation was born – the date when we took great risks to break free and establish our independence.”
You are so petty, so insecure, so ignorant and filled with such bias and hatred that you seized upon 18 words to distort the intent and thrust of an 820-word essay.
You reacted to 2% of what I wrote and ignored — or were stupid to understand — the remaining 98 percent.
Thanks for reading. I’m sorry you are too feeble and insecure to handle even a hint of reality.
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You accuse me of being “emotionally triggered,” then spend your entire reply calling me petty, insecure, ignorant, feeble, and stupid. So much for taking the high road. If your goal was to prove you’re above personal attacks, you accomplished the exact opposite.
No, I didn’t miss the few sentences where you praised America. I read them. They don’t erase the overall message of your essay. When you spend hundreds of words focusing on slavery, racism, inequality, and injustice, then tack on a few lines about America being exceptional, the takeaway is obvious. Your grandson is far more likely to come away seeing America through guilt and grievance than pride and gratitude.
You keep pretending this is about one sentence. It isn’t. It’s about the mindset you’re passing on. Instead of teaching your grandson confidence, personal responsibility, and appreciation for the opportunities this country provides, you’re teaching him to see himself through the lens of historical victimhood, a plantation mindset where people are defined by past grievances instead of their own choices and potential. That’s a terrible lesson for any child.
You also try to sidestep the substance by questioning my identity. Whether I use my name or not has absolutely nothing to do with whether my criticism is valid. It’s a distraction because attacking the messenger is easier than defending the message.
The biggest hypocrisy is your response. You present yourself as someone promoting honesty, resilience, and civil discourse, yet the moment someone disagrees with you, you resort to insults instead of reasoned arguments. That tells me far more about your character than your essay ever could.
If you truly believe America is exceptional, then write like you believe it. Stop teaching your grandson to carry the weight of generations past and start teaching him what has made this country great: freedom, opportunity, personal responsibility, and the belief that people are not prisoners of history. That’s a far better legacy than teaching him to adopt a plantation mindset.
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Since you don’t have the courage of your so-called conviction, hiding behind the safety of anonymity — I have decided that you are not worth any more of my time.
I would be more than happy to continue this discussion with you, but it that will require a platform of honesty and transparency.
I will not approve or publish any more comments from you — at least until you can stand behind what you write.
I will leave here with these three facts that CANNOT be disputed.
1.) I wrote a blog post to my grandson explaining that the United State is an exceptional country that I love. My exact words are here: “I believe – to my core – that the United States is an exceptional nation – that our country holds great promise and that we are – despite all of our challenges and flaws – a beacon to the rest of the world.”
2.) I explained to my grandson that none of us are born equal, regardless of our nationality. My exact words are here: “[God] made it impossible for any of us – whether we live in the United States, Mexico, Germany, Pakistan or Denmark – to ever be truly equal.”
3.) I told my grandson that our nation is not without flaws, but that we are becoming better with passing day.
Despite whatever delusional or cognitive dysfunction that does not allow you to accept reality, slavery — often brutal, including rape — was a normal practice when Thomas Jefferson declared that all men are equal.
This harsh, difficult and rather inconvenient piece of our nation’s history bothers you. Good. It should.
Acknowledging and not hiding or justifying our mistakes gives us the opportunity to grow and improve. This is true whether we are talking about an individual or a collection of individuals(a nation)
I will teach my grandson that our mistakes offer us important life lessons.
Sadly, many people are not emotionally equipped to acknowledge their own flaws; their opportunities for growth and improvement.
When faced with inconvenient facts that disrupt or taint their own embedded narratives, people like you throw up walls of denial or, at best, acknowledge the sin but quickly justify it by pointing to the actions of others.
I believe we can be proud of our nation, without ignoring or minimizing some parts of its history. I believe you can love someone even if they have made mistakes, even if they are not perfect.
Our mistakes do not define us or reveal our character
What defines us — what reveals our true character — is how we handle those mistakes and whether we are willing to learn and grow as a result of those mistakes.
Character is not about justifying bad behavior by pointing out that others do it, too. Character is about doing what you know is right, regardless of the current political climate or the majority opinion.
I worked on a reservation with the Lakota Sioux (Cheyenne River, Eagle Butte, S.D.) Ever visited a reservation? Have you ever lived as a minority? Have you ever been denied credit or employment because of your gender? I’m guessing no.
https://randyseaver.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/313931_3450970396256_897532614_n.webp
You prattle on about how terrible I am, about how misguided my words are. Then riddle me this, why are you still here, — on my blog — trying to tell me what I should or should not teach my grandson? I have published your criticism for the whole world to see. That is the difference between you and me. That is why I cannot take you seriously.
Again, I apologize for triggering you so badly. I sincerely hope your recovery process will be speedy.
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“Our nation was built on the enslavement of Black Americans and the subjugation of women and Native Americans”. What kind of woke bs are you filling that poor boy’s head with? America was built by immigrants and their descendants who risked everything to build the greatest country the world has yet to see.
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How courageous of you, stating your firm beliefs and principles — criticizing me — all from the safety and comfort of anonymity. You are as feckless as a cockroach. Here’s a tip: Crack a history book
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A “cockroach”? Well excuse me that WordPress didn’t log me in before I made my comment, but this is Ted Sirois and I fully stand by what I said. I’d be more than happy to have a one-on-one history discussion with you. What the hell were you thinking when you posted this hit piece. Yes, your uncle Sam has anger and other issues he needs to work through. Did it make you feel good to throw that in everybody’s faces during his birthday celebration?
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