Things to do in Denver when you’re dead

As I previously stated on Facebook, there are four topics that I now avoid discussing on any social media platforms: Abortion, Climate Change, Guns and LGBTQ+ issues.

The way I see it, it has become virtually impossible to discuss or debate any of these issues without the conversation dissolving into an abyss of bruised egos, hurt feelings and misunderstanding. I am NOT an expert on any of these issues. My opinion carries no more weight than your opinion.

Although I have staked out my positions, I am more than happy to discuss or debate any of the following topics with you in an off-line setting, preferably while drinking some craft beers or delicious coffee. I am always willing to hear alternative viewpoints — always ready to consider new information and perspectives, and ready to change my mind or outlook. Enjoy.

ABORTION:

Personally, I am opposed to abortions in almost all cases except when the mother’s life is in danger. That said, I also believe that I do NOT have the right to tell a woman what to do with her body. Thus, I am somewhat reluctantly pro-choice on this issue.

That said, I think it’s hypocrisy that we have the technology to detect bacteria on Mars and declare it’s a sign of life; and then say that an embryo or especially a fetus is not a living organism. It begins growing and developing from the moment of conception. That’s just science.

CLIMATE CHANGE:

I’ve written this before, and my position has changed very little over the past few years. First, Climate Change is real. Very real. The evidence is all around us and it is impacting, and will continue to impact, human life.

What bugs me about this subject is mostly centered upon the alarmist attitude of otherwise very intelligent people; and the sheer hypocrisy of those who often chant the loudest and want to impact my choices.

I am a huge supporter of renewable energy, including wind, solar and hydro projects. But that does not mean that all renewable energy projects are good. Some projects have an adverse impact on the surrounding environment, but for the most part I like renewable energy because it requires zero assistance from any other nation. It is truly independent energy. In some cases, I also support nuclear power and natural gas projects. [Disclosure: I have worked as a paid consultant on several renewable energy projects in New England]

I believe in being a good steward of our natural resources. I try to minimize my energy consumption. But the alarmists want to make my choices for me, that and the ever-growing bureaucracy of government regulation chaps my ass.

Furthermore, this issue is too often mired in fear and rhetoric, often ignoring science.

This ecosystem (Earth) is 4.53 BILLION years old. Think about that for a minute. We’re making declarations and pushing the panic button while ignoring the simple fact that we have basically NO idea about climate trends BEFORE humans began roaming the planet approximately 500,000 years ago.

Translation? Humans have been on earth for less than .01 percent of the earth’s life. Furthermore, we know (because science tells us) that this ecosystem has undergone numerous, significant and sometimes cataclysmic changes, sometimes wiping out various species, often referred to as “natural selection.” We’ve had Ice Ages, continental and seismic shifts, not to mention eons of volcanic activity that created huge dust plumes and particulate distribution all over the globe.

Bottom line? Our climate has been changing for a very, very, very long time and it will continue to change with or without us. I mean, really. Do you think you can alter the Earth’s ecosystem by driving a Prius? Do you think humans are powerful enough to somehow control or stabilize an ecosystem that has been evolving for 4.53 billion years???

Again, I think we should all strive to be good stewards of our planet and commit ourselves to better public health outcomes while also reducing global conflict by using renewable power, but I also think it’s still okay to drive a pickup truck, use a clothes dryer, microwave oven or a flat-screen television.

GUNS

I consider myself to be a strong supporter of the Second Amendment, but I do not believe that the Second Amendment — nor the First Amendment — is absolute. As a classic example, you certainly have the right to free speech, but you cannot yell ‘fire!” in a crowded movie theater; nor can you publicly threaten to assassinate the president or another person. Your FIRST AMENDMENT rights are not absolute.

The framers, I believe, were all too familiar with a tyrannical government and wanted to ensure that ALL power would rest in the hands of the people, not the state. There is ample historical evidence that the framers were not too keen on having a standing army, but saw the necessity of a citizen militia that could be called upon in times of need.

Thus, the Second Amendment reads: “A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

A lot of people conveniently skip over the first part of that sentence and instead focus on the last part regarding the “right of the people to keep and bear arms.” The Second Amendment is important to both our liberty and security as a nation, but it does not give my neighbor the right to own a rocket-propelled grenade launcher or an intercontinental ballistic missile.

We have, what I believe, some common-sense limits. Academics aside, however, this issue has become a flashpoint in American politics. It seems almost impossible to have a civilized conversation about this topic because of an increasing frequency in horrific mass shooting incidents, many of which involve school-aged children as the victims.

I am as horrified and as sick as you are of seeing incidents like these happen. I too want something to change. Now. Right now. However, as hard as it may be, we have to put our emotions in check and work together and across the aisle to solve this problem.

What I find disheartening and a bit peculiar is that so many people focus primarily on the guns. Typically, these are people who don’t own firearms and don’t like firearms. On the other side of the debate, people (typically from the political right) say it’s not at all about the guns. They do a mighty good job of pontificating about mental health services (right up until it’s time to fund mental health services).

From my perspective, both sides of this debate are a little bit wrong and a little bit right. When we hear the news about another drunk-driving related death, we are outraged at the driver, not the vehicle he/she was driving.

Each day, roughly 30 people in the United States die in drunk-driving car crashes, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). Data from the NHSTA shows that from 2010 to 2019, more than 10,000 people died each year in drunk driving car accidents. How many more?

Too often, when it comes to a mass shooting incident we miss (or perhaps ignore) the larger, more pressing question: Why?

Why does someone (anyone) feel compelled to slaughter a large group of innocent eight-year-olds? Firearms, including semi-automatic rifles and handguns, have been around a long time. But this is a relatively new phenomena in American culture, beginning sometime around the late 1990s.

Why are we so violent? Why is our country so far ahead of all other industrialized nations when it comes to gun violence? I think we ignore the why because it’s much more convenient to focus on the guns.

Bottom line: I think we need serious gun reform legislation to include limits on high-capacity magazines, tighten loopholes on the easy availability of firearms and require mandatory safety training. Even Ronald Reagan, perhaps the most conservative Republican president in the last 100 years, wrote to Congress in the early 1990s, urging them to take meaningful action in limiting high-capacity firearms.

This is not rocket-science. We can achieve meaningful and substantial reforms without taking away your guns. I also believe that an unarmed citizenry is a dangerous thing. History underscores my belief on that matter. [Disclosure: I have a significant mental illness and subsequently choose not to own firearms].

LGBTQ+

First, the good news. It is becoming increasingly easier for people to feel comfortable in their own sexuality, but this topic is yet another flashpoint of vitriolic discussion on social media.

My take? I don’t really see any negative impacts to allowing two men or two women to enter into a state-supported marriage contract. Numerous studies have demonstrated undeniable statistical data that reveals married couples are far less likely to be involved in crime or drug abuse and are far less likely to need government assistance and typically have a more positive impact than their single peers on regional economies. It doesn’t matter if the couple is same-sex or a more traditional heterosexual couple.

Look I don’t understand all the uproar and the wringing of hands about these topics, including gender identity. I am a middle-aged, straight, white guy. I don’t want to publicly discuss what happens in my bedroom, and I don’t care much about what happens in your bedroom, as long as it involves consenting adults. It’s really none of my business.

Yup, I do think there is a part of this issue that has become somewhat trendy. And I don’t like the whole “you’re either for us or against us” mantra. I think there are a lot of gray areas out there, and as a civilized society I think we can work out the kinks. Look, we figured out how to put a man on the moon, I’m relatively comfortable in thinking that we can address same-sex restrooms or trans-gendered athletics. As long as we can all take a deep breath and set emotions aside.

My default position on all LGBTQ issues is basically just be kind, tolerant and accept others who may be different than you are. I don’t need to fly a rainbow flag in order to be decent and kind.

That said, much of the emotional uproar on this particular subject focuses on children. Here’s my take: I think it’s perfectly okay and probably pretty smart to teach children how to respect diversity that they will encounter throughout their lives. Beginning, perhaps, in the fifth-grade, I think it’s okay for students to read books that focus on sexuality and gender.

At about this age, many children begin to have questions about these subjects, and it’s not always easy to have those discussions with their own parents or family members.

I never chose to be straight. My gay friends and relatives never chose to be gay. Either you are or you are not. A textbook or movie isn’t going to change that.

However, I am opposed to having these discussions with children under the age of eight. Any parent or teacher out there will tell you that seven-year-olds will gladly eat paste. Six-year-olds still believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy. Their brains are basically mush. They have little to no critical thinking skills.

If a six-year-old announces that he or she wants to marry their best friend, I would hope you don’t go ahead and book a function hall or send out wedding invitations to friends or relatives. For me, it should be the same if your seven-year-old announces that he/she wants to change gender.

You certainly can be supportive of that declaration without embarking on life-changing medical operations. You can address your child by his/her preferred pronouns. I think it’s okay if you allow a child (age 12 or above) to legally change their name. It can easily be changed again. You can be supportive and loving of your child but it does not require you to hit the operating room.

In Maine, I believe the age of consent is 16. Still a bit low, in my opinion. But if 16 is the age of consent, then it should also be the age of individual gender choice. I’m more comfortable with 18, or better yet 21, but we’re not talking about me or my kids.

At 16, your brain has not finished the formatting process that allows for critical thinking. Society says at 16 you are too young to vote. Too young to watch porn. Too young to enter into a legal contract and so on. You can love, support and nurture your children without introducing puberty blockers, hormone treatments or irreversible surgery.

But if you encounter an adult, or even your own child, who says they are gay, non-binary or trans-gendered why not treat them with anything other than respect or kindness?

Gay people and transgendered persons have been around since the beginning of human existence. Now, they are able to feel more comfortable and included in society. Even if your own religious beliefs claim that homosexuality is a sin, you can still choose to be kind. You can always be kind. That is a choice.

And that’s a wrap for the four dreaded topics of social media. Peace to you and yours.

Send lawyers, guns and money

The world is going to Hell in a handbasket.

Well, at least according to a friend of mine, who was recently lamenting the concept of Critical Race Theory, discussion of gender identity in public schools and the “whole gay marriage thing.”

Maybe you’re thinking, why are you friends with someone like that? Well, to be honest, I have several friends who feel the same way. They are not racists or bigots. They are decent, hard-working, kind and generous people. For the most part, they ascribe to a “live and let live attitude,” but many of them also cite their own religious beliefs and convictions as the foundation and the basis of their concerns.

On the other side of the coin, I have some friends who are somewhat trigger-happy with the “politically correct” gun. In their view, racism and bigotry can be found around almost every corner. They seem to be perpetually “offended,” and generally have a dim view of religion, NASCAR and the Second Amendment.

However, the vast and overwhelming majority of my friends can be found somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. It’s also where I find myself . . . at least most of the time.

Regular readers of this blog and those who follow me on social media already know that I am a political centrist, and that I ping back and forth between conservative and liberal thought as easily as a blade of grass is bent by the breeze. According to some people, I have no convictions or moral compass. I have also been accused of being a kiss-ass and guilty of “virtue signaling.”

Let’s pause here for a moment and think about that last sentence. Virtue signaling? Apparently, from what I have been able to gather, this is a term used by conservatives to describe someone who publicly discusses racism or liberal attitudes. People who use this phrase, apparently, don’t like people talking about virtues. Is it bad to have virtues? I don’t know, let’s move on.

Man of the year

Several weeks ago, I apparently made a comment in the public square about the issue of gender identity. I can’t seem to find it now, but I think that I basically wondered why gender identity was all of a sudden a thing. In my view, it was the just the latest in a trend to continually prove that we are each special and unique and need new ways to pronounce our self-absorbed identity to the rest of the world.

That post/comment prompted a call from a friend I have known for nearly 30 years. He said, “We need to get together for a beer and talk.” I drove into Portland a few days later to meet him for lunch. He told me that he had recently come to understand that he was a member of the LGBTQ community, specifically that he is transgendered.

I was knocked back on my heels. Look, I consider myself to be an open-minded and tolerant guy. I have several very close friends who are either gay or lesbian. In fact, one of my most dear friends (a man I lived with for several years) is openly gay. But I never before had a friend who is transgendered.

I had a ton of questions. Of all the people I know, this particular friend was the last person I would imagine to be transgendered. He is a successful professional, happily married to a beautiful woman with a gorgeous daughter, a beautiful home . . . you know, the whole nine yards of normalcy.

So, over the course of an hour or so, I peppered my friend with questions. Does his wife know? How did she handle the news? What about his daughter? His family?

When did you choose to be a man, he asked me.

I didn’t choose. I was born that way, I replied.

Exactly, he responded. When it comes to gender identity, none of us choose. It’s not like a hobby or joining the Elks Club. It’s who you are.

Yeah, I responded but you’re born with certain genitalia, which determines if you’re male or female.

“Gender identity is about a lot more than genitalia and it’s not about sexual preference,” he said. “As far back as I can remember, I was always more comfortable playing with girls. By the time I hit middle school, I was constantly bullied because I wasn’t like most of the other boys in my class. Society drills into you what is expected if you are a boy or if you a girl. Those expectations are relentless.”

Our conversation went all over the place. I questioned him about natural law and defiance of God’s will.

“What if I don’t believe in God?” he responded. “Do you really think the world is going to come of its axis if some people choose to identify with a gender that is different from the one to which they were assigned? Trans people have been around since the beginning of time. How does it impact you or anyone you know if I choose to identify as a woman? Who is being harmed?”

I have been thinking about that conversation for almost a month, and here’s what I have come to believe. [Pause here. Disclosure: I do not have any advanced degrees, including psychology, religion or political science. I’m just a bald, overweight, underachiever from Biddeford, Maine. My opinion, plus $4.25, will get you a small coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts. So, relax. This is just my opinion and it carries no more weight than your opinion]

I think my friend is mostly right. Some hardline conservatives tend to get all worked up about individual rights when it comes to things like wearing a mask in public during a global pandemic, but they are quick to judge individual choices and preferences. They want you to subscribe to their values.

Furthermore, I don’t want to live in a government that is controlled or motivated by certain religious beliefs. Those guys who flew airliners into the World Trade Center were convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were doing God’s work.

Now, I can almost hear what some of you are thinking. What about professional/collegiate or even high school sports/competitions? What about boys who want to use the girls’ bathroom?

I confess. I don’t have the answers to all those questions. But I am convinced that a nation that figured out how to put a man on the moon can figure out some common-sense solutions to these questions or dilemmas. For example, we could have a third restroom that could be used by anyone. It’s not rocket science. Hell, we have only had the Americans with Disabilities Act for a little more than 30 years (1990).

Today, just about anywhere you go, you can find accommodations for people with physical disabilities. We figured it out. Despite some protests about the cost impacts to Joe and Jane Taxpayer, businesses and institutions were able to adapt. I happen to think that the world is a better place if people with physical disabilities can get on the bus, do their own grocery shopping or attend a sporting event.

Hey, teacher! Leave them kids alone

Now here’s where I part company with some of my friends on the left side of the political aisle.

There is absolutely no need to develop curriculum for kids in grades K-3 to foster classroom conversations about gender identity, sexual preference or gay marriage.

For Pete’s sake, we’re talking about kids aged 5-8 years old. At this age, kids will gladly eat paste, crayons or their own snot. In most cases, they don’t yet have the intellectual or emotional capacity to determine which socks they should wear. They should be allowed to be fun-loving kids without concern for adult subject matters. You only get a 3-4 year window of just being a kid, why muck it up for them?

I mean really. There is a reason we don’t let kids vote until they are 18 or drive until they are 16. There are appropriate age barriers for childhood development stages. Here in the state of Maine, the age of consent is 16 years old, which means a child under the age of 16 cannot consent to sexual acts. I don’t know about you, but that makes sense to me.

I remember one particular day when I was in the fifth grade and all the girls in our class got to go to a special assembly and the boys were left behind in the classroom. I remember asking our teacher, Mr. Flaherty, what was going on. He replied curtly, “nothing you need to worry about.” Boom. End of conversation. I went back to whatever I was doing to pass the time. The girls returned to the classroom about an hour later and they all had gift bags.

What a rip-off, I thought. It just wasn’t fair, I reasoned.

The next year, in health class, the mystery was cleared up for all of us. Some of us giggled, others let their minds drift someplace else and others just accepted what we were being taught. It was really no big deal. I don’t recall any pending legislation or parent protests. We were 12-year-old public school students and we learned about sexual intercourse, pregnancy and menstruation. Upon learning these things, we didn’t run out and start fornicating like jack rabbits. (Well maybe the other kids did, but it would be another 35 years before I experienced sexual intercourse.)

If a seven-year-old asks his teacher “why does Johnny have two daddies,” an appropriate response is: because Johnny’s parents are different than your parents. Boom. End of conversation. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that kid will simply shrug his shoulders and move on to the very next thing that catches his attention, like wondering how much money the tooth fairy is going to leave under his pillow.

And for those of you who are worried that the gay/transgender lobby is out to recruit your kid. Relax. Your kid already knows if he/she is gay or straight. Again, it’s not something you just randomly choose. Hey wait, I think I’ll try being gay for a while. No, it doesn’t work like that.

As for corrective/trans-gender surgery options, I believe you should be at least 16 years old before you can make that decision. Even then, I think it’s dicey because you’re talking about a medical procedure that is pretty much permanent.

If your son is gay, it’s not because of something he learned in school. Are you going to still love him after he tells you that he is gay? Are you gonna try to have him fixed? If your daughter tells you that she is attracted to other women, what’s your response? Frankly, I don’t think kids should be having sex until they are 18, but it happens. Once, they are grown and out of the house, however, the less I know about their sex lives, the better.

I know I promised to also discuss gay marriage and Critical Race Theory in this post, but we are pretty much out of room for today. I will tackle those lightweight subjects in the near future. In the meantime, focus on being a nice person and stop being offended about every little thing.

We’re all different, but we are also all the same. Let’s spend more time focusing on what unites us rather than worrying so much about what divides us.

Peace!