______________
Apparently, a lot of people have absolutely no clue
about the First Amendment or ‘free speech’
__________
It would appear that a lot of people did not pay attention during their seventh-grade Social Studies classes.
That’s okay, I slept through my English and math classes and look where I landed.
For more than three decades, I have made my living as professional writer, reporter, columnist, communications consultant and newspaper editor.
For better or worse, I am also one of four administrators on a community Facebook page — a volunteer gig that is the equivalent of poking at your eyes with the sharp end of a hot pencil.
If I had a nickel for every time someone threatened to sue me for libel, defamation or just really bad grammar, I would be living comfortably and sipping banana daiquiris in Boca Raton rather than shoveling tons of snow and walking my dogs in sub-freezing temperatures.
I am also – with increasing frequency — roundly criticized and accused of “censorship” by about a half-dozen or so malcontents – most of whom were banned from participating in the above-mentioned community Facebook group by yours truly.
Somehow, these rather insipid mental giants don’t understand the very basic role of being a community Facebook administrator or moderator.
The Facebook admins and moderators exist only to moderate and control whatever page we operate. That’s really it. We make sure that group members adhere to eight basic group rules and follow principles of basic human decency and community standards — all of which are clearly spelled out by the Facebook big wigs.
Facebook group admins are, in fact, supposed to censor comments that violate the community rules or Facebook standards.
For all the wailing and gnashing of teeth, I have yet to receive a single complaint from the American Civil Liberties Union for my egregious violations of the U.S. Constitution, most notably its First Amendment provision that discusses the concept of “free speech.”
And despite repeated threats of civil (and criminal) action, I have yet to receive a subpoena or a call from any of the big law firms like Joe Borenstein’s office.
My own attorney is bored and growing restless.
Free speech isn’t free
Before we proceed, let’s all pull out our copies of the U. S. Constitution and turn to the Bill of Rights, specifically the First Amendment, which reads as follows:
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
The First Amendment does not allow you to say or write whatever batshit idea that pops into your head in public places or on public forums — and it most certainly does not mean that you can force a privately operated media outlet to publish your non-sensical thoughts and opinions.
You’ll see that our founding fathers (some of them quite experienced in journalism) took great pains to specifically protect the press, giving it wide latitude to criticize the government and operate its publications – on its own terms and as it sees fit.
Now, let’s talk about what the First Amendment does do for every day Americans.
In a nutshell, the First Amendment limits what the government cannot do to you when it comes to free speech. It does NOT allow you to publicly demonstrate how big of a moron you are and how few active brain cells you possess.
Facebook can determine its own standards of community commentary. You cannot sue them for enforcing their own standards and or for removing speech that they determine as offensive.
Also, the New York Times, the Washington Post or the Biddeford Gazette are NOT legally required to print or publish your crazy-ass rants that were written at 2 a.m. while you were chugging gin & tonics and watching reruns of Celebrity Apprentice on cable television.
In fact, there can be serious consequences for certain types of speech, even here in the United States where we all have the freedom to put mayonnaise on our French Fries if we want to.
For example, you cannot yell “Fire” in a crowded movie theater. You cannot publicly threaten to harm the president or anyone else.
Even threatening to harm yourself comes with certain consequences. Just trust me on this one. I’ve been there. Done that. Got the tee-shirt.
Am I full of shit?
If you still don’t believe me or think I’m full of shit, try this as an experiment: Log onto Facebook and make some rude comments about your boss and your place of employment, specifically mentioning their names.
Later — when you get called into their office — simply tell them they must respect your First Amendment rights. Threaten to sue them when they fire your ass. That will leave them trembling in their shoes.
Maybe you don’t have a job, so here’s another experiment: Walk into your local Applebee’s restaurant and start telling other customers that the restaurant is likely serving rat poison and that your waitress is a cocaine-addicted prostitute and the bartender is certainly a pedophile, and probably named in the Epstein Files.
I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that the management team will not let you finish that platter or riblets – and that’s if you’re lucky.
You do not have the “right” to use Facebook or any of its pages. They can bounce you like a hot tamale whenever they choose.
You don’t pay for Facebook. You don’t control Facebook. In fact, you are the Facebook product, not the consumer.
Facebook gets its money from advertisers. Advertisers give Facebook money to get you and grab your attention.
I hope this is helpful. And if you want to sue me, my attorney is standing by and waiting to hear from you 24/7.
I hate to break it to you, but we all have to follow rules.
_________________
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Randy Seaver is a nearly insufferable malcontent living in Biddeford, Maine. He is a veteran journalist, a Constitutional scholar and jazz aficionado. He is also the editor and founder of the Biddeford Gazette, a non-profit digital media outlet that focuses on the city of Biddeford. Send your praise, angry comments or questions about French Fries or the First Amendment to randy@randyseaver.com
Subscribe today! It’s free, and it’s worth it!
© 2026 Lessons in Mediocrity. All Rights Reserved
LESSONS IN MEDIOCRITY | OUTLAW JOURNALIST 