Dear Mr. Fantasy

Pop Quiz: Name at least one individual who signed the Declaration of Independence.

If you answered John Hancock, congratulations: you are in the majority.

John Hancock’s famous signature has been immortalized over time, becoming synonymous with integrity, courage and conviction.

fat_geekWhen taking on the world’s most powerful army and navy; when telling a temperamental king to stuff it . . . well, that takes courage. The Declaration signers risked more than their reputation or the loss of some friends when declaring their independence. They put themselves at odds with those who had the power to imprison them, ruin their businesses and families and yes, risked their very lives by their willingness to stand up and be counted.

John Hancock’s name is the most visible signature on the Declaration. Its presence and boldness are unmistakable. It was signed by a man with no regrets and no fear of the consequences. It was dashing and principled, and thus it has become legendary.

But in today’s world of social media news distribution and opinion commentary, too many people prefer to protect their privacy by using monikers or posting their comments anonymously.

I can understand the reluctance to publicly stand behind your opinions, but I guarantee you that no one will name an insurance company ANONYMOUS.

Look, honey…there’s the ANONYMOUS skyscraper!

There’s been a lot of talk lately about what should or should not be confidential information; and newspapers large and small are constantly wrestling with ways to maintain a vivid online presence with reader interaction without being hijacked by anonymous posters who refuse to stand in the daylight and own their opinions.

A few days ago, I was contacted by the Lewiston Sun Journal because I applied for permission to post online commentary on that newspaper’s website. I was required to fill out a form with my name, address, e-mail and a phone number for authentication. Thus, if I feel like commenting on a Sun Journal story, the whole world will know who I am.

Being required to stand up and own what you say gives most people pause. You can’t be such a tough guy if other readers can quickly determine who you are.

I applaud and encourage rigorous, spirited debate on all public policy issues. Every debate is enhanced by multiple points of view, but if you don’t have the guts to sign your name, sit down, shut up and go back to watching Captain Kirk for a few more hours.

And finally, if you are completely gutless and must resort to sending anonymous letters, here are a few helpful hints from a writing professional:

1.) Buy a dictionary and use it;

2.) Double-check your grammar and punctuation;

3.) Do not lie, especially if you are pretending to be a “professional” writer and planning to correspond with other professional writers;

4.) If you are writing online, learn to use hyperlinks;

5.) Do yourself a favor: invest in a copy of The Elements of Style

Failure to follow these tips will guarantee that your scribbling will soon be widely circulated as the best joke of the day.

We love dirty laundry

It’s a strange time for the newspaper industry — especially here in Maine, where we recently witnessed several seismic shifts in the media landscape.

Yesterday it was announced that Donald Sussman’s investor group will now own a 75 percent stake in the company that publishes the Portland Press Herald, Kennebec Journal, Waterville Morning Sentinel and the Maine Sunday Telegram.

Hedge fund financier and philanthropist Donald Sussman said he wanted to save a Maine institution and will keep his hands off the wheel of editorial decisions. (Bangor Daily News Photo)

That’s all fine and dandy, except for one small twist: Sussman’s wife just happens to be Congresswoman Chellie Pingree, and she shows no sign of leaving Maine’s First Congressional District anytime in the near future.

Sure, Sussman says he has only the best  of  intentions, and adamantly vows that he will not interfere with the newspapers’ editorial process. Yeah, okay…whatever. For the record, I actually have a full-head of hair.

I was lucky to work for a family-owned group of weekly newspapers. David & Carolyn Flood gave me a very long leash, but I was never foolish enough to forget that I was on a leash. The Courier was not my paper.

There were many times when my editorials and opinion columns came nowhere close to matching the opinions of my employers, but they sighed…rolled their eyes…and kept giving me a paycheck. For better or worse, I was promoted three times during the seven years I worked for David and Carolyn.

My salary steadily increased and the newspaper thrived. The Courier was the paper of record in Biddeford and Saco, but I always knew I had a boss…heck, sometimes I even paid attention to David.

But all good things come to an end, and it remains to be seen whether the Press Herald or smaller weekly papers such as the Courier will continue to survive in this brave new world of digital media.

Regardless of the financial implications of producing dead-tree news, the Press Herald and its sister publications have crossed a murky line, despite the financial necessity of the decision.

It’s a tough call. Do you fold, and allow a historical institution to become nothing more than a memory? Do you surrender and send hundreds of employees to the unemployment line?

Or do you hold your nose and make a deal with the devil?

U.S. Rep. Chellie Pingree (D-Maine)

I’m sure Donald Sussman is a nice enough guy. I’ve never met him. But regardless of his Boy Scout oath to be ethical, every story that involves his wife, her decisions or her detractors will now be tainted with lingering doubt.

In November 2010, the Portland Press Herald surprised many of its readers by endorsing Republican Dean Scontras over Pingree during her campaign for a second term. If that happened now, we would have to wonder whether such a stance was motivated by an editorial board trying to make a public statement about its objectivity.

Journalists bristle when discussing ethical standards, so I do not envy the dilemma now faced by the reporters and editors at Maine Today Media.  No matter what lines they feed themselves before going to bed each night, each one of them also knows that they also are on a leash . . . a very tenuous leash.

But before you criticize reporters being on a leash, consider the plight earlier this month for the more than 50 employees at the Village Soup newspaper who were laid off when that group of weekly newspapers suddenly closed.

Being off the leash feels good, right up until you discover that you no longer have a bone to chew.

Are you experienced?

Biddeford Mayor Alan Casavant is expected March 6 to announce his nomination for the Ward Seven city council seat that was vacated last week by Councilor David Flood’s resignation.

Newly elected mayor Alan Casavant (right) celebrates with his campaign manager on Election night

Because of a serious flaw in the city’s charter, the voters do not get a say, even though Flood served fewer than 90 days of his term. That needs to be fixed.

I live in Ward Seven, and have spent the better part of the day talking with city councilors and the mayor about the candidate whom I think should replace Flood.

According to the city clerk’s office, 893 voters in Ward Seven cast ballots in the November 2011 election. Of those 893 voters, Flood received 390 votes (roughly 40 percent of the votes cast).

Bill Sexton finished second in the three-way race, earning 270 votes. Sixty six voters left their ballot blank when it came time to choose a Ward Seven councilor; there were four write-ins and Patricia Whitehurst received 160 votes.

For disclosure, I voted for Flood.

When Casavant ran for mayor, he campaigned on a promise to be “positive and professional.” He campaigned on the idea of restoring civility; of rejecting political cronyism; of engaging the entire community, not just those who agreed with him.”

Those were the reasons why I and so many others worked so hard to help get him elected.

We wanted a change.

But did we get change?

Word on the street is that Casavant is planning to nominate former city councilor Mike Ready.

I like Mike Ready. Mike served this city well, both as a city councilor and long-time member of the School Committee. Mike is principled, smart and hardworking.

In short, Mike Ready is a outsanding nominee, but he’s not the right nominee.

If Mike Ready had run for the seat last year, it’s quite possible that I would have supported him over David Flood.

But Mike did not campaign. He did not get signatures to be on the ballot. He did not knock on doors. He did not put up campaign signs or participate in debates.

Bill Sexton did. Bill Sexton wanted the job then, and he wants the job now.

Casavant, however, says he needs experience on the city council, pointing out that three of the eight remaining councilors are serving their first terms on the council.

Sexton supported a proposed racino. Casavant may also see Sexton as someone who may have supported Twomey for re-election during the mayoral campaign.

But those items never came up during a break at today’s Democratic Caucus, when Casavant told me that the council has too many inexperienced members. “We’ve got a tough budget ahead of us,” he explained. “We have a lot of complex issues facing us during the next few months. I need people who can hit the ground running, people with experience.”

That rationale may sound good on paper, but it doesn’t pass the straight-face test.

Maine Senate candidate, former city councilor and current school committee member Jim Emerson served as treasurer on Casavan’t campaign team.

Emerson launched his political career with zero experience after being nominated by Mayor Wallace Nutting to fill a vacancy created by the resignation of Phil Dumont in 2006.

Emerson served with distinction and honor. The city did not fall apart. Emerson later campaigned for and won the seat on his own merits.

Mayor Donna Dion appointed Roger Hurtubise to replace Roch Angers on the city council in 2003. Hurtubise figured things out pretty quickly.

It is clearly Casavant’s prerogative to nominate anyone he chooses. More importantly, it’s the council’s prerogative whether to accept or reject that nomination.

Casavant chose last year to run his campaign without a slate of like-minded city councilors. I respected and admired that decision, even though it seems politically naive.

But there’s no reason why Casavant should attempt to stack the council deck after the fact.

The right thing for Casavant; more importantly the right thing for the city, is to try to respect the will and intent of the voters.

By appointing Sexton, Casavant would be sending a strong signal that his campaign themes were at least a bit more than slogans.

Street fighting man

Some guys will do just about anything for attention. Such is the case with Biddeford City Councilor David Flood, the representative from Ward Seven who has returned to the council after a two-year sabbatical studying gymnastics.

City Councilor David Flood will go to any lengths to get people’s attention; best evidenced by his recent pledge to stand on his head until his fellow councilors agree to some sort of new solid waste collection program. (Photo by Dana Johnson)

Those who follow local politics closely may remember that Flood made a run against Joanne Twomey for the mayor’s seat two years ago.

Flood’s mayoral race did not go so well, so he went back to the drawing board and began drafting the core elements of his “Plan B” to rule Biddeford: A stealth plan to quietly buy every single building on Main Street not already owned by Doug Sanford.

I probably know Flood better than I know most of the other councilors, and I don’t know him that well.

David and his wife, Carolyn, owned and operated Mainely Newspapers, Inc., the former parent company of the Biddeford-Saco-OOB Courier and several other weekly newspapers.

In all likelihood, you would not be reading this if not for David Flood, who made the tragic mistake of hiring me in 1998 and then naming me as the Courier’s editor in 1999.

So if you hate me or the stuff I write, go ahead and kick David. It’s not my fault.

If not for David Flood, I would not have the job I have today. I would not be married to Laura, and I would not live in the house where I am writing this. All of those things came about through the connections I made while working at the Courier.

David is not just my city councilor, he’s also my neighbor. You’ve probably seen postcards of his May Street home, which is often mistaken for the U.S. Embassy building in the Dominican Republic.

During my seven-year tenure at the Courier, Flood missed several key opportunities to fire me. Let’s put it this way, I often pushed the envelope of employee-employer relationship protocols as far as they could be pushed.

I think there are only two reasons that David didn’t fire me as frequently requested by folks such as then State Rep. Joanne Twomey, former Mayor Jim Grattelo and a slew of others who all shared a common hatred of yours truly:

1.) I worked almost as hard as David Flood, the hardest-working man I have ever met; and

2.) We both loved the Courier and its mission to be the best local newspaper possible.

David has been involved in re-energizing downtown Biddeford for a long time, way before it was fashionable, hip or cool to promote the city’s downtown.

But here’s some trivia you may not know about David Flood:

  • He was a standout wrestler in high school and once challenged me to a wrestling match, boasting that he could pin me in less than a minute. (True story, and I declined the challenge because he had a weird look in his eyes when he said it.
  • He really likes turtles (also true)
  • He actually thought Joe Biden would be a good president (Delaware boys stick together)
  • He loves baseball almost as much as he loves newspapers.

David is also on Facebook. So let’s see what we can find there, eh?

He has 229 Facebook friends, roughly .01% as many “friends” as Mayor Alan Casavant .(Who says social media doesn’t work?)

One of his favorite TV shows? Family Guy

His only interest/pastime? Guinness…okay, he’s Irish.

Of the other eight city councilors, only Brad “Cub Scout” Cote is listed as a “friend” on Flood’s Facebook page (as of today)

So, here’s the tricky part: What should his Delta Chi name be?

After much thought and consideration, not to mention input from the All Along the Watchtower staff…..

David, your Delta Chi name is “Armadillo”

It’s not your 19th nervous breakdown

Come on, don’t tell me you didn’t see this one coming.

That’s right, word on the street, yet unconfirmed, is that former mayor Joanne Twomey is at least contemplating a bid to recapture her former District 135 House seat, and may challenge the incumbent, fellow Democrat Paulette Beaudoin for a chance to take on Republican Perry Aberle in November. So far, Twomey has not registered as a candidate with the Maine Secretary of State’s office.

Joanne Twomey: Portland Press Herald Photo

If this plays out like I predict, it will be the trifecta of disgruntled Democrats in Biddeford.

For those of you playing at home, here’s the run down of Democrat on Democrat for the city’s three State House Seats.

District 135: Joanne Twomey may face incumbent Paulette Beaudoin, a sweet, little old lady who just wants a fourth and final term.

District 136: Bob “I never stop campaigning” Mills will challenge incumbent Megan Rochelo, a sweet, little young lady who would really like a second term.

District 137: State Sen. Nancy Sullivan, facing term limits, will challenge Mayor Alan Casavant,  a man who often acts like a sweet, little old lady and would just like to spend his non-napping hours saving the world and chatting with his 48 million Facebook friends.

Twomey got trounced just a few weeks ago, when Biddeford voters overwhelmingly rejected her bid for a third consecutive term in the mayor’s office, but she is a fierce campaigner and that, combined with her name recognition, could spell serious trouble for Beaudoin. If Joanne is able to re-assemble her kitchen cabinet, look out!

I have been watching Biddeford politics for more than a decade, and this seems like a first. The GOP must be loving it, and the Dems in Augusta better break out the riot gear. This is one primary you won’t want to miss.

George ‘Pete’ Lamontagne

George “Pete” Lamontagne is an uncomplicated man who has seen his fair share of complicated situations.

Political observers say the former city councilor’s laid-back personality and his friendly demeanor often calmed severe storms during especially contentious Biddeford City Council meetings.

Pete Lamontagne

He is a self-described man of the street, and he is widely perceived as a champion of those without friends or power. He is soft-spoken, but commands attention and respect when he speaks. He is a lover of history, politics and art.

He is a simple, courageous man with an extraordinary reputation, and he loves his hometown of Biddeford.

We caught up with Pete in the lobby of the North Dam Mill building, formerly the home of the Biddeford Textile Company, where both Lamontagne and his father worked. As always, he was gracious, understated and relaxed.

With the exception of a two-year hiatus, Lamontagne served as a member of the Biddeford City Council for more than a decade, first elected as a Ward 5 Councilor in 1997. He returned to the council in 2001 and remained there, serving as both an at-large representative and council president, until stepping down last year.

You and several other members of the last city council were roundly criticized because of the infamous executive session meeting held with the owners of Scarborough Downs before the city announced its intention to put out a racino referendum. Do you regret that decision?

“In hindsight, sure. We found out after the meeting that it wasn’t right. (Sighs) It doesn’t matter much now, it’s water under the bridge. I can’t speak for anyone else, we just wanted to do something for our community to help bring back jobs…it didn’t work out, and now the city will have to look at other things, but I don’t think we’ll ever see anything that big, anything that could have brought so many jobs here.”

You were a big supporter of the proposed Biddeford Downs project.

“Oh absolutely. I’ve spent a lot of time in both Bangor (Hollywood Slots) and Foxwoods, which are both about 180 miles either way of here. When West Point closed its doors, it was a like a stake in the heart of hope for those of us who worked there.

“I see these unemployed people every day. These are good people, hard-working people; they looked at this proposal and said, you know…maybe I can get a job there. It was something to hope for, and I was relentless. Today, those people are still unemployed.”

You were the president of the UNITE union and you worked in that mill for more than three decades. The closure hit you hard.

“Oh yes…. (Pauses) You know, I never thought it [West Point] was going to close. I never planned to retire. It was tough. It was devastating for a lot of families, my friends… A lot of us started taking retraining classes at the Community Center, but jobs are tough to find right now.”

You know a lot about hard times.

(Laughs) “I sure do, but I also know something about good times, and strangely enough, they often overlap.

“I grew up on Water Street, and back then it was a very poor neighborhood, mostly bars. But it was a also a close-knit neighborhood. It was where Raymond Gaudette and [former mayor] Gilbert Boucher grew up. I had lots of friends.

“Two of my aunts and one of my uncles lived with us; back then it was how families did things. Every store had a back room with warm beer, because that’s what people liked. Warm Schmidts …it was their beer of choice (Laughs).”

You were named after your dad.

(Laughs) “Well, sort of, . . . his name was Pete. He was a big guy. He worked at the mill as a mason in the late ’50s and early ’60s. People called me Little Pete or Pete junior. Actually, my middle name is Alphonse, but don’t print that.” (Laughs)

Did you get the political bug from your father?

“Well, you know, he ran for the council as a Republican, and he got trounced. I mean, he was a French Republican.”

Did he live long enough to see his son get elected?

“Yes, he passed away just after I won my first election. I think he was very proud.”

You served under three mayors: Dion, Nutting and Twomey. Is Biddeford’s political landscape as tough as its reputation?

“Oh yes, Biddeford politics can be very tough. You have to have a thick skin. I got to serve with [Jim] Grattelo and [Marc] Lessard. Those were my best days. (Smiles)

“There were times when I had to break up physical fights; and there were many times when Mayor Twomey and I found ourselves in very heated disagreements, and we didn’t always see eye-to-eye.”

So how did you broker the peace?

“I don’t look at the oyster shell, I’m always looking for the pearl inside the shell.”

You and Joanne Twomey go way back.

“She was a pretty, little blonde girl. When I was a young boy, my family spent a lot of time out at Hills Beach. She used to visit, and we would sit on the beach together and talk. I guess you could say she was my first girlfriend.” (Smiles).

You also befriended Rory Holland, a former mayoral candidate who is now in jail for murdering two young men.

“A lot of people didn’t like him. He was not well, but I think he understood where I was coming from. I would let him visit my house, but I was always firm with him, and told him I would not hesitate to throw him out. I think he respected me, but I also think he needed a friend.

“I woke up to the news about the shootings, and I was in shock. It took me more than three days to get my head around it, what a terrible tragedy. It still hurts to think about it.”

Your service in the Army didn’t get much respect from former mayor Wallace Nutting.

“His four stars had a big impact on me. I wasn’t intimidated by them, but I had a high degree of respect for his military service and accomplishments.

“I was a mail clerk in the Army, a desk jockey, serving with the Adjutant General’s staff. But still, here was this 19-year-old Biddeford boy in France.

“Mayor Nutting had a different way of doing things. He would always ask for your input or opinions, but you always knew what the answer was supposed to be.” (Laughs)

Who did you vote for during the last election, Casavant or Twomey?

“No answer.” (Laughs)

You wanted to serve as a citizen member on the council’s Policy Committee, but you were never appointed. What happened?

I don’t know. Alan [Casavant] and I met shortly after the election, and I told him I wanted to be on the policy committee. We were in his office at City Hall, and I saw him write it down. Then, the council agenda didn’t include my name as an appointment.

“At first, I was mad….Bastard!, I thought, until I saw the two names of people who got appointed to that committee, Laura (Seaver) and Renee (O’Neil). Those were perfect choices, so I decided not to say anything. It could not have worked out better. I think those two will do a wonderful job. I was very pleased with the mayor’s picks.”

Problems with Maine’s sex offender registry

James Simpson was released from prison in May 2001, but in many ways, he feels as if he still behind bars.

At the advice of his attorney, Simpson, 41, plead guilty to gross sexual assault in February 1998. Superior Court Justice Paul Fritzsche sentenced Simpson to 11 years in jail with all but four years suspended and an additional six years of probation.

While Simpson maintains that he is innocent, he also says that a new state law, which requires sex offenders to be listed on an Internet registry, has made his life a living hell.

The case against Simpson began in November 1997, when he befriended a female acquaintance and eventually allowed her to live with him at his Saco apartment. Three days later, the woman told police that Simpson raped her.

The Courier is withholding the victim’s name, but did verify that she was an adult when the crime was committed.

Released early for good behavior from the Maine Correctional Center in Windham, Simpson said he has been trying to put his life back on track. The problem, he says, is that Maine’s Sex Offender Registry has made it all but impossible to do that.

“Everywhere I go, people are treating me like some kind of monster,” he said. “I’m not a pedophile, but people don’t know that. They just see my name on the same list with people who hurt little kids.”

Simpson’s complaint about the mandatory registry is not the first of its kind, and law enforcement agencies admit the system is far less than perfect.

Saco Police Chief Brad Paul said the 1999 law puts his department and other law enforcement agencies in a difficult position.

“It’s a hell of a quandary,” Paul said. “The law was developed with good intentions, and it does help us do our primary job of keeping the community safe. At the same time, we try to evaluate each incident on a case-by-case basis.”

Like many other communities in Maine, Saco maintains its own website of sex offenders who now live in the city. The Saco list contains the names of 12 men, ranging in age from 27 to 74. The offenders’ addresses range from a transient who stays at area campgrounds to a downtown apartment building and the Ferry Road.

According to Paul, sex offenders must routinely “check-in” with police to update their status, including their address and place of employment.

Since the Maine registry was first published on the internet earlier this month, Simpson said he lost his job at a South Portland fast-food restaurant. He is also no longer allowed to pick up his children from their daycare center.

Simpson, a 1981 graduate of Biddeford High School, has moved back to his hometown of Biddeford, where he stays with a former girlfriend who is the mother of his one-year-old son. He is still looking for work and a new place to live.

“This thing makes it impossible for me to live,” Simpson said of the required registry. “Everywhere I go, people treat me like a monster.”

About the registry

Maine’s sex offender registry website can be found here. From there, offenders can be searched by name or the municipality in which they live.

The city of Biddeford has the highest number of registered sex offenders in the tri-community area, listing the names of 30 men and women who are required to register and live in the city. According to the state’s website, the neighboring city of Saco has 11 registered sex offenders living there; and Old Orchard Beach has 10 registered sex offenders.

Each municipality offers direct links to the state’s sex offender registry from their respective homepages.

The state’s registry is maintained by the Maine State Police and is intended to provide the public information concerning the location of registered offenders currently living in Maine. But not every person listed on the site is a convicted child molester.

Instead, many of those listed have committed crimes against adults and have never been arrested for crimes against children.

On the other hand, the registry does not contain information on all individuals that have been convicted of a sex crime. Information is only provided for those individuals that are required to register under the 1999 state registry law. Registration is also limited to those who were sentenced after June 30, 1992.

Until three weeks ago, Maine was one of only a handful of states that did not provide an Internet listing database of its residing sex offenders. According to the U. S. Justice Department, only six states — Hawaii, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, Rhode Island and Washington — do not have a sex offender database available on the Internet.

Questions raised

Angela Thibodeau, a Biddeford attorney, said she was considering a challenge to the state’s 1999 sex offender registry law. One of her clients was convicted of unlawful sexual contact during a child custody dispute in Georgia, but now lives in Maine.

“I have my own misgivings about the law,” Thibodeau said. “But I’m not so sure that any kind of challenge would be too successful. It’s something that still needs to be studied more closely.”

Thibodeau says the registry tends to “victimize the offenders” by not allowing them to move forward with their lives as other criminals who did not commit sex crimes can after serving their sentences.

“Right now, the registry is not classified by level of risk,” Thibodeau said. “I think that’s something which should be considered.”

Saco attorney Eric Cote agrees with Thibodeau. Cote served as Simpson’s attorney five years ago. He says the law is too broad and as a result, counterproductive.

“There is a substantial difference between a crime committed against a child and a crime committed against an adult,” Cote said. “This thing sort of lumps them all in together. It should be broken down into different categories.”

But Michael Cantara, Maine’s Public Safety Commissioner, said it’s important to remember that the law was drafted and passed by the Legislature after many hours of public hearings in Augusta.

A former York County District Attorney and native of Biddeford, Cantara said the registry provides nothing different than what was already public record, available for newspapers and other media outlets.

“It’s important to remember that this law reflects legislative direction that was also filtered through several federal court decisions,” Cantara said. “It’s just another tool that is meant to inform, not to alarm the public.”

While both criminal court clerks and child protective workers with Maine’s Department of Human Services report a significant increase in calls regarding potential child molesters during the last few weeks, Cantara says the public has a responsibility to check all of the facts before jumping to conclusions about someone who is listed on the site.

“It is incumbent of citizens to act properly before rushing to judgment,” Cantara said, pointing to a law that prohibits harassment or threatening of sex offenders. “While the basic information about an offender is quickly available, it does take time to find more information, which is just as available for the general public.”

For each person listed on the registry, the state supplies the offender’s name, address, photograph and physical characteristics. The offender’s birthdate and place of employment is also listed, along with the date, place and docket number of their conviction.

“It would be a mistake for anyone to see the list as their only source of information,” Cantara said. “We all share responsibility for keeping ourselves safe, but we must do that with diligence and within the parameters of the law.”

Despite his concerns about the new law, Cote said the registry can be a valuable tool. “I would want to know if a child molester lived next door to me,” he said.

Little pink houses…in Biddeford & Saco

I don’t know how it happened.

It started off like any other Monday morning, but by the time the sun began to set later in the day I realized that I had lost more than three hours. Gone; Vanished; Disappeared; Hasta la vista, baby!

I could have done laundry. I could have mowed the lawn. I could have gotten drunk and run around naked, cursing the plummeting Dow Jones Industrial Averages.

I could have built something really cool with Legos.

I could have done so many things, but instead I got sucked into the vortex of an ancient, parochial battle field, where soldiers were slaying the dragons of childhood memories. And it all happened on Facebook.

Yup, I was like a porn addict; fervently pitched over my laptop, numb to my surroundings with blood-shot eyes glued to the instant messages popping onto my screen from people I grew up with, people I remember and people I don’t know.

Yup, I joined one of those cyberspace group: You know you’re from ________, if . . .

I am usually much more disciplined. I loathe Farmville and all the other crap on Facebook, but these pages were speaking to me, sparking memories that had long ago been neatly tucked away in order to make room for much more important things than childhood nostalgia.

You know, important, adult stuff: mowing the lawn, doing laundry, getting drunk and playing with Legos.

But this is where I got into trouble. I joined two of these groups. Yup, I am a glutton for punishment and an overflowing e-mail inbox. My decision sparked the ire of competition between these sibling communities. My loyalties were immediately called into question.

I grew up in Saco, a small town that calls itself a city in southern Maine. (Hint: In Maine, we don’t have any cities, only a couple of big towns.)

Today, I live on the other side of the river, in a small town called Biddeford that is also described as a city. These two towns (like so many others in Maine) have a bitter football rivalry. I have always thought of these two communities as one town, and I never paid much attention to the whole rivalry thing. Probably because I never played football.

My grandparents lived in Biddeford and later bought a home in Saco. My grandfather taught high school English in both communities but my grandmother taught fourth grade only in Saco. Shortly after I was born (in a far-away college town), my parents moved into an apartment on Quimby Street in Biddeford. We lived on the third-floor of that “triple-decker” until I was seven years old and my parents bought their first home in Saco.

My best friend at the time was John Lessard.

Today, John lives in Texas, and he has a beautiful family. We are “friends” on Facebook.

Today, I live less than one mile away from that triple-decker, where I learned how to ride a bicycle and kissed a girl for the very first time. So, I guess you could say that I am from Biddeford.

Not exactly, at least according to the opinions of some people.

When I learned that we were moving across the river, I cried myself to sleep. My friends would be gone forever. I would never again see the girl I kissed. John and I would not be riding our bikes to Mayfield Park. Life was coming to a screeching, terrifying and horrific end.

I think it took me between 48 and 72 hours to get over the trauma of moving two miles away from Sevigny’s Market, my childhood friends and that back-yard shoe shop, which has since been converted into apartments.

There were new kids, a new school and even a new market, Don’s Variety. There were no girls who would kiss me, but it didn’t matter much at that time. Back then, I thought I could fly if I tied an old blanket around my neck.

Who needs girls when you can fly?

I don’t think too much about those days, even though I had the pleasure of serving as the editor of my hometown newspaper long after I had ditched my flying blanket (okay, maybe not that long).

The paper covered news for (gasp) both communities. And after traveling and writing stints for the better part of two decades across the country, from Annapolis and Nashville to Oregon, South Dakota and Texas; not to mention a bitter divorce, it felt good to be back home. It was reassuring.

So much had changed, yet so many things were the same.

I choked the interview for that job, but the newspaper’s publisher was eager to hire me because one of the graphic artist remembered having my grandmother as a teacher. I had graduated from Thornton Academy in Saco. I had my first haircut at Ralph’s barbershop, got my First Communion at St. Mary’s, got busted for shoplifting at Zayre’s department store and bought my first lottery ticket at Vic & Whit’s.

I was a local boy. We were a local paper. It didn’t take long for me to assimilate.

Eventually, I re-married and began the task of raising my own children in Biddeford. Some high school acquaintances chided my decision. Why, after all, would I (a Thornton graduate) choose to live among the working-class of Biddeford?

Well, maybe it’s because nobody ever stole my lunch money or gave me wedgies in Biddeford; or maybe it’s because people in Biddeford seemed just a tad less judgmental than their counterparts across the river. Maybe I favor the underdogs: the men and women who made the shoes, the blankets and machine parts more than those who checked the timecards and carried the clipboards.

Or maybe it was because they stopped calling it “Factory Island” and started calling it “Saco Island.”

But the reasons don’t much matter. I am from Biddeford.

And I am from Saco. And I am the lucky one because I have two hometowns.

Uncle Bert

Originally posted on Dec. 22, 2005 on All Along The Watchtower.

Last week, I thought today would be little more than a day of drinking and celebrating with my co-workers and those I developed relationships with during the last seven years as the Courier’s editor.

But God had different plans.

So, instead I will be going to a funeral.

Uncle Bert is an “in-law” relative. And since Laura and I have been together just a little more than four years, it’s not like I can say we were particularly close. And even Laura, I think, is grieving the uncle she knew from her childhood more than the Uncle Bert who decided to end his sorrow and grief a bit sooner than the rest of us expected.

But his suicide, like all suicides, has left me troubled.

Roughly a year ago today, Uncle Bert smoked a cigarette with me outside my new home. He was always very nice to me. Sure, all of Laura’s relatives were nice to me (some more than others), but Uncle Bert seemed comfortable talking with me; and he wasn’t what you would call a big talker.

He had a thick Downeast accent, gray hair, a wiry frame and a warm smile. We talked about my driveway, which really needs to be repaved. He spent several years as the owner of a paving company, and told me that my driveway was actually in pretty decent shape.

“You have a nice home, Randy,” he told me. “You’re doing a good job with those boys.”

There’s no way to explain how much that comment meant to me. He reminded me of my own late Uncle Leonard, a man who raised me during my teenage years when my mother was overwhelmed and my father was focused on indulging his every biological whim.

I always felt for Uncle Bert; he struck me as lonely, and there was no denying the fact that he never quite accepted the loss of his wife, the woman Laura knew as Aunt Cathy.

Laura and I were both raised as Catholics. And yesterday (or maybe the day before), she asked me if I thought Uncle Bert would go to heaven.

Yes, I told my wife as she brushed away a tear. “The God I believe in would not turn Uncle Bert away. Uncle Bert was a kind, decent and honest man. If he doesn’t go to heaven, then it’s no place I want to be.”

The Church tenets were designed to keep people alive. Although its doctrines are fear-based, the intent, I think, was more practical and based in necessity.

God, I believe, is sad that Uncle Bert is no longer with us. But I believe in a loving and forgiving God, a God who understands and accepts our human follies. Would you turn away your child if he or she made a mistake?

Laura and her cousins have much closer realtionships than I ever had with any of my cousins. They get together frequently every year. So I know Peggy and Liz (two of Bert’s four children) as well as any of my in-laws.

Peggy and Liz are amazing women with families of their own. Their father’s better traits are certainly apparent in the way they raise their own children.

I just hope Uncle Bert knows what a special gift he gave me by openly expressing a vote of confidence in my struggles to be a stepfather.

As someone who spent the better part of a decade struggling with severe depression and at least two serious suicide attempts, I was shaken to learn that Uncle Bert went through with his shuffling of life’s mortal coil.

I just hope God knows what He is doing, and I hope we all learn from the lessons that are so readily available in every day living.

Uncle Bert is gone and will not be here for this Christmas or any other, but I choose to remember that sly grin and gentle demeanor. And I know that all the streets in heaven will be well-paved, at least in the smoking section.

The Thin Blue Line

This is the fourth installment of the Biddeford After Dark series that wrote for the Biddeford-Saco Courier in October 2001. This installment focuses on my ride-along with a third-shift police officer.

While the city sleeps, lost in its innocent slumber, the bad element is most likely to stir. Those who prefer the cover of darkness for their activities rise from their slumber and prowl, looking for a fight, drugs or a camera left behind in a parked vehicle.

It is the time of day when people are most likely to get behind the wheel after having a few drinks. It is a time when tempers flare, and when a jealous rage is most likely to escalate. The moon lingers over the city, and the night whispers are more audible without the hustle and bustle of daytime activities.

But while the city’s leaders sleep, another group takes over. They are the watchers of the night, the defenders of the law; and the guardians of what the rest of us so often take for granted.

Welcome back to Biddeford after Dark, and our report on the proverbial boys in blue: the men and women of the Biddeford Police Department.

Bad boys, bad boys —

As I sit in Peter Schimek’s patrol car, parked in the police department’s parking lot on Alfred Street, I watch in silence as Schimek checks his equipment. Then a song begins to echo in my head.

“Bad boys, bad boys — whatcha ya gonna do? Watcha ya gonna do, when they come for you?”

It’s a few minutes before 11 o’clock, and the downtown bars are packed. There is a kinetic energy on the streets tonight; a restless feeling that throbs only to the rhythms of the early autumn winds.

Like many other young boys, I once dreamed of being a police officer. The thrills and the excitement. The guns, a badge and the image of being the defender of truth, justice and the American Way — whatever that means.

The night’s opportunities are not lost on Schimek or his colleagues. They know that the streets are restless. And they know that they are short-staffed tonight. It’s not a good combination.

Schimek has been a patrol officer in Biddeford for more than three years, previously working as an officer in Old Orchard Beach.

Schimek, 35, is not exactly what I expected from a third-shift patrol officer. He is soft-spoken, almost a bit philosophical about his job and what he sees each night while making his rounds. He talks candidly about the city, his job and the personalities that are drawn to the call of the moon.

Absolutely serious when he needs to be, Schimek is also easy-going and relaxed, revealing a deft sense of humor and a non-cynical view about the people he encounters while working between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Et porquois pas?

“You see all sorts of things during third shift,” Schimek says. “You see it all, and hear it all. Just bragging rights for anything: ‘those are my chips.’ ‘I’m stronger than you.’ ‘You spilled my beer.’ ‘This is my place to stand.’ ‘I don’t like you because you hang out with those kids.’”

Tonight, Schimek and I are covering traffic patrol, looking for burned-out headlights, speeders and drunk-drivers. There isn’t much traffic on the street, but Schimek knows that the night is still young.

It’s not long, however, before we get our first call. A bartender at Le Club Voltigeur, on Elm Street, (et porquois pas?) has called for an escort. Allegedly, according to the bartender, one of the club’s officers has had too much to drink and is now insinuating threats. Our car is the second unit to respond to the scene.

As soon as we pull into the parking lot, the bartender approaches our car. Nearby, a group of five or six men stand together, hands in pockets, trying to look inconspicuous.

“We get a lot more alcohol related calls during this shift,” Schimek explains. “Generally, a lot of people have been drinking since the early afternoon. It can make for difficult situations. Otherwise decent people lose some of their judgment and sensibilities. You have to be careful.”

The bartender goes to her car, unscathed — and Schimek talks with the group gathered in the parking lot. His mannerisms are professional, but he keeps his tone friendly, if not direct. He advises the men to head home, also warning them not to drive. The men nod their heads, trying to look casual and Schimek returns to the cruiser.

“Part of crime deterrence is to drive around,” Schimek says. “You’re going up and down streets, and the criminal doesn’t know when the officer is going to come by. You never have a set pattern. You do everything sporadically, just making your presence known.

So much for hanging out at the donut shop, but Schimek does know every establishment where food is sold late at night. “Hey, we have to eat at some point, you know.”

A fisherman’s nightmare —

Schimek and I are riding near Chick’s Hill on outer Rte. 111 in Biddeford. As we approach the Andrew’s Road, Schimek decides to turn back toward the city. Just as we make our way east, Schimek notices a commercial van that is traveling 15 mph over the posted speed limit. We turn around, and Schimek turns on the blue flashing lights. The van pulls to the side of the road quickly.

Schimek calls in the van’s license plate, and then cautiously approaches the now parked vehicle. I wait, wondering what the outcome of this stop will be.

“The two most dangerous situations for a police officer are domestic [violence] calls and motor vehicle stops,” Schimek explains before leaving the cruiser. “You never know what’s going to happen in those situations.”

After returning to the cruiser, Schimek calls in the driver’s license number. Bad news. Although the 34-year-old driver has a relatively clean driving record, he does have an outstanding arrest warrant. In 1988, this married father of two — returning home on this evening from a hard day of work — apparently made the mistake of fishing with a lure in a fly-fishing only area somewhere near Dover-Foxcroft.

Schimek shakes his head. “I have no choice,” he says. “We have to bring him in to the station and process him on the outstanding warrant.”

Thus, this man, who would have otherwise been sent on his way home with a stern warning to watch his speed, now has to be handcuffed, make bail arrangements and leave his vehicle on the side of the road to be towed.

A busted fisherman. Busted for a minor infraction that happened more than 12 years ago — more than 100 miles away, while enjoying a simple day of fishing.

Schimek is less than pleased with the situation, but he has little choice in the matter. Despite being short-staffed this evening, and the constant crackling of the police radio, Schimek and I will now be tied up at the station until the man either makes bail ($90) or is transported to the York County Jail.

Cash and carry

To my surprise, our prisoner is not that upset about the situation. Sitting in the back seat of the cruiser, behind a metal cage, his wrists chained together behind his back, he is astonishingly good-natured.

“Who would have thought?” he says, as Schimek talks with another officer who has been called in for back-up, so that the van can be moved and towed. “I forgot all about that. I thought it was a forgotten thing. I didn’t even know that I wasn’t supposed to be using lures in that area.”

On the way back to the station, our prisoner trades jokes and a casual attitude with Schimek, who has all but apologized for the inconvenience.

Meanwhile, the radio continues to alert us about other things happening in the city. A 15-year-old boy, standing on the South Street overpass, is spotted by an alert and passing state trooper. The boy may be suicidal, and another unit is dispatched to the scene.

A house party on Summer Street is causing some neighbors to complain. Schimek, however, is out of service and now assigned to little more than being a baby-sitter.

Back at the station, the prisoner is searched again, this time even more thoroughly. We find no contraband or weapons, and Schimek opens a locker, grabbing a plastic baggie. The man now must empty his pockets and verify his valuables. He must also remove his shoes. From there, in the station’s garage, our prisoner is escorted into the station. He is finger-printed and photographed, and then taken to one of several empty holding cells.

Schimek, anxious to return to the streets, seems increasingly frustrated. The prisoner calls a friend who agrees to post bail. Now, we all wait for the on-call bail commissioner. Some 20 more minutes go by.

Finally, the prisoner is able to talk with the bail commissioner. The bail is paid in cash. The police, apparently, do not take American Express — or Visa, for that matter. It’s cash or carry when you need to get out of jail. That’s the law.

Back on the streets —

It’s close to 1 a.m., and the natives, as they say, are definitely restless. Schimek parks his cruiser in the corner of the 7-11 parking lot. From this vantage point, we can see the steady stream of munchie-hungry customers pour forth from the downtown taverns.

Schimek recognizes many of the faces in the crowd, and he smiles when some tough guys walk past the cruiser, muttering derogatory remarks about the police.

“Not everyone appreciates our presence,” Schimek explains. “Third shift has less calls for service, but we typically have more arrests. I have arrested some of these people before.

“Quite often, people you’ve dealt with earlier in the night, you can see them a few hours later, walking home around 6 a.m.”

The moon is nearly full tonight, and Schimek has his own personal theories about why police and medical calls seem to increase during a full moon.

“During bad weather, calls also increase,” he explains. “My own personal theory is that when there is a low-pressure system, people’s brains swell because there is less pressure upon the body. It’s the only explanation I can think of.”

It’s not long before we have to respond to anther call. Two juveniles have stolen a flag from a residence. The perpetrators are apprehended quickly. Three units converge on the suspects in a quiet and poorly-lit neighborhood near Mason Street. The flag has been recovered, and the young men are arrested on probation violations and then charged with theft.

Another officer handles that arrest, and Schimek drives to the victim’s house to return the stolen flag. He chats briefly with the middle-aged couple, who offer thanks for returning their flag.

Another call, and we’re off again. Now, a deaf woman has accused an acquaintance of stealing things from her front porch.

The woman’s home is cluttered, and this call seems to involve a love triangle that has gone terribly astray. Apparently, the alleged victim was storing some of her boyfriend’s items at her home. The man’s other girlfriend, however, took it upon herself to gather up some of her beloved’s most cherished belongings, all of which are stacked in rotting cardboard boxes.

The man, who is the object of dueling affections, has bigger problems than locating his shaving kit, however. He is apparently spending the next several weeks in a New York City jail cell, awaiting trial on drug trafficking calls.

We’re back on the road in less than 15 minutes, but even as Schimek prepares to drop me off near my office on Main Street, something else suspicious catches his eye.

A white, pickup truck is pulled over to the side of Lincoln Street with its rear right turn signal still flashing. The driver is intoxicated and enjoying a midnight slumber. But not for long. The keys are in the ignition. The truck is in gear, and Schimek reaches for his handcuffs as he awakens the snoozing motorist.

The man seems baffled about what is happening. Before he knows it, he is cuffed and stuffed. The streets are safe again. At least for now.

This is Biddeford after Dark. Sleep well.