I make my living by stringing words together, but I have always thought that they were just words — tools to build a story or make a point.
Some people, however, get all bent out of shape and very self-righteous if you have the temerity to use a word not sanctioned by the guardians of political correctness.
State Sen. Donna Bailey of Saco is one of those people, always ready to correct you with her vastly superior intellect and unquestionable moral fiber; a proud member of the Semantics Police Department, serving northern York County.
Allow me to back up a bit for context.
Gimme three steps, mister
It was the summer of 1987 when I almost died because of the words I used.
Okay, so that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but the rest of the story is painfully true.
I was 23 years old and found myself working on the Cheyenne River Reservation in Eagle Butte, South Dakota.
Me and some of my students on the res in 1987
I was one of five young men contemplating becoming a Catholic priest. We were sent to the reservation to help with mission work. I was assigned to teach summer school in a one-room schoolhouse on the far edge of the reservation.
It was rewarding work, but I quickly discovered that becoming a priest was not going to be a viable option for me.
You see, there was this smoking hot blond girl from Marquette University who was also working on the reservation that summer. That is a story for another day.
Why I didn’t become a priest
One evening I strolled into a tavern that was located not far from the rectory. I got a few strange looks but no one seemed to mind me being the only white person in the building.
Yes, I instantly felt awkward and out of place. A big part of me wanted to turn and head for the door. That would not be polite, I reasoned. So, I strolled to the bar and took an empty seat.
I ordered a Coors beer and tried to relax. There was a very big man sitting next to me. He was alone at the bar, so I decided to strike up a conversation.
“It must be really hard to be a Native American living on the reservation,” I said.
He slowly turned his toward me and said, “What did you just say?”
For reasons still unknown, I decided to double-down and still felt quite proud of my sensitive, caring nature. So, I repeated myself: “It must be really hard being a Native American on the reservation.”
His eyes narrowed and he leaned forward on his stool, gritting his teeth.
“I am a fucking Indian,” he snarled.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to run. I wanted the 82nd Airborne to come rescue me.
He continued, his eyes locked on mine. “Don’t you ever use those words again,” he sneered. “Maybe it makes you feel better about yourself or the fact that it was your people who raped our women and stole our land, but it’s an insult if you think using pretty words is going to help anyone.
“I am a fucking Indian and don’t you ever forget it.”
I tried to absorb his words, nodding politely. I sat in my seat for a few more minutes.
A few painful seconds of awkward silence passed, and the man to my right let out a sigh and turned toward me once again. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I know that you’re here to help, but it’s just frustrating. As if a couple of words are going to change anything.”
What are words for?
For better or worse, we live in a world where we are now required to walk on eggshells, a never-ending requirement to sugar coat reality and inflate our chests about our moral superiority simply because we no longer use the “N-word,” the “R-word,” or even the “C-word.”
It’s really rather silly how quickly we trip over ourselves without thinking about how perfunctory our conversations have become.
No, I am not advocating for bringing back use of the N-word or any other long since abandoned — or intentionally offensive phrase.
I simply believe that what you do is far more important than what you say.
I simply believe that what you do is far more important than what you say
I think too many of us pat ourselves on the back for using the “right” words, the appropriate pronouns and phrases without doing much else other than pontificating with smug moral superiority about our vernacular.
None of these “unhoused” advocates thanked me for taking on the issue, for actually interviewing people who are living on the streets. They simply felt the aching need to criticize me for using the “wrong” word.
What did I do? I went back to speak with some of those people I interviewed and asked them their thoughts about my word choice.
They laughed at me. “Who really cares?” one man asked. “I don’t care. I just want to live inside.”
Back to Donna Bailey
Bailey recently won her reelection bid as the state senator representing Saco, Buxton and Old Orchard Beach. She is an attorney and charter member of a political clique that includes former state senator Justin Chenette of Saco and State Rep. Lori Gramlich from Old Orchard Beach.
State Sen. Donna Bailey
These guys work like velociraptors. They hunt in packs.
Earlier this year, when I was working on a story for Saco Bay News, I had a really hard time getting a hold of Bailey. She was reluctant to return my calls, and then told me she had been “really busy.” Hmmm. “Really busy” for nine days?
On election night, while greeting voters headed into the Thornton Academy gymnasium, Bailey could barely bring herself to look at me when I greeted her and wished her luck.
I was not at all surprised by Bailey’s behavior. She keeps an enemies list, and my name is on that list.
One of my closest friends – Craig Pendleton — had decided once again to run against her this year.
Craig got smoked in that election. Bailey won by a large margin, a repeat of an earlier contest four years prior. But she will never forgive me for supporting my friend
Earlier this week, members of the 132nd Legislature went sworn into office. The ceremony is a big deal in Augusta. Lots of media coverage. Everyone is smiling as they prepare to begin another two years of pomp and circumstance.
State Rep. Marc Malon (D-Biddeford) posted a comment on his personal Facebook page, telling us he was honored to represent his district again. Malon also decided to again express his ire about a fellow lawmaker, a Republican from Sanford who is accused of domestic violence.
Malon is also somewhat pissed that the Portland Press Herald repeatedly used the words “choking” and “choke” instead of strangle and strangling in their ongoing stories about this dirtbag.
Marc and I get along pretty well, even though we often disagree about politics. Regardless, I once again had one of his campaign signs on my lawn. I responded to his post saying that I understood his frustration about the scumbag from Sanford, but I also cautioned him against railing a fight on semantics with the state’s largest media outlet.
Within minutes, Donna Bailey decided to also jump into the conversation. Funny – – on this busy day – Bailey had enough free time to chide me about the issue of choking versus strangling.
Being the sometimes-insufferable prick that I am, I basically told Bailey to please take a long walk on a short pier.
Malon – being the only one of good character in this story – ended the conversation by taking down his Facebook post.
Tomato or tomato?
If my wife were to tell you that I intentionally choked her, would you shrug your shoulders and say, “wrong word. Call us back if he strangles you?”
Unhoused versus homeless?
Strangled instead of choked?
Native American or indigenous person?
Woman or menstruating person?
How far down this silly-ass slope are we going to slide until we finally recognize how lucky we are if words are the things we are most upset about?
Words are harmless, it’s how we use them that matters.
P.S. As predicted; Bailey has “unfriended” me on Facebook.
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I have some good news and some bad news to share with my friends and family who live in the Biddeford-Saco area.
Apparently, officials at both Thornton Academy and the University of New England are none too pleased with yours truly.
According to my sources, representatives from both institutions have reached out to the publisher of Saco Bay News, essentially telling her that it would probably be best if Randy Seaver didn’t write anymore stories or opinion columns about their respective institutions.
I was not included in those conversations, so I do not know exactly what was or was not said, but it strikes me as sort of the same vibe as when John Mitchell, President Nixon’s attorney general, threatened Katherine Graham, publisher of the Washington Post, during the Watergate scandal in 1972.
Mitchell warned reporter Carl Bernstein (one of my heroes) “Katie Graham’s gonna get her tit caught in a big fat wringer if that’s published.”
Let’s pause here for a moment. I am not Carl Bernstein. Saco Bay News is not The Washington Post. And my stories are much, much less than microscopic when compared to historic stories such as Watergate or The Pentagon Papers.
I am just a semi-retired, overweight, underachieving, middle-aged, bald man with very few of his original teeth left and no college degree. (In fairness, Carl Bernstein also never earned a college degree).
So, if you stop and think about it, why should anyone at either Thornton Academy or the University of New England give a rat’s ass about anything I write? What are they afraid of?
I completely understand why Liz Gotthelf, the publisher of Saco Bay News, decided it would probably be best if I no longer covered stories about Thornton or UNE.
Saco Bay News is a one-woman operation. Liz has nowhere near the resources and muscle that Katherine Graham had during the Watergate scandal.
Consequently, you will not see any more stories on Saco Bay News about either Thornton Academy or the University of New England written by me.
It remains unclear whether either of those two distinguished organizations will allow anyone to write about them. Perhaps permission slips will be required in the future. Who knows?
I am crushed, and trying to work through my grief.
But in reality, and generally speaking, elitists have never responded well to my words and questions. So, I should have seen this coming.
I knew that column would piss them off, and that idea delighted me. It is more than understandable why Thornton would throw a hissy-fit. I get it. I don’t blame them at all.
Thornton Academy’s main building (T.A. Photo)
That said, I wonder why John Lamb (Thornton’s PR guy) didn’t call me first. In fact, he never followed up with me. He has my number. My phone seems to be working. It strikes me as a chickenshit move.
In my world, if someone pisses you off or treats you unfairly, you respond to them directly. At least, that’s how real men solve their differences. I have zero respect for someone that complains about me behind my back.
Then again, we’re talking about Thornton Academy, so it’s par for the course.
All that aside, I own plenty of the blame here. In larger publications with more staff and resources, news stories are generated in the newsroom. Opinion pieces and editorials are kept separate and isolated from news reporters. There is an invisible, yet clear, wall between the editorial board and the newsroom.
I was trying to do both, and that’s a basic no-no, even if you try to be careful. You’re still blurring the lines.
But the University of New England’s complaints about me represent an entirely different animal.
In the days and weeks after my first two stories about the proposal were published at Saco Bay News, other media outlets — including the Portland Press Herald, WMTW-TV, WGME-TV and the Biddeford-Saco Courier – also picked up the story.
I put a lot of effort and time into those stories about the controversial pier proposal. My reporting was straight-up. I took great pains to be as objective and unbiased as possible.
In fact, I received accolades for my reporting on the issue from colleagues who work (or worked) for other media outlets.
But guess who didn’t call or e-mail me? That’s right, not a peep from the University of New England. And yes, they have my phone number. My email address is included at the bottom of every story I write.
Apparently, the University of New England could also use a good set of gently used balls.
So, what’s the good news?
Only hours after delivering a devastating blow to the United States Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbor, Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto reportedly said, “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.”
From my perspective, I have now been set free and unleashed from needing to worry about objectivity. I can now publicly criticize both Thornton Academy and UNE as much as I like.
The bad news for both Thornton Academy and UNE is that they have now poked the proverbial bear; a bear with nothing to lose, lots of time on its hands and a decent social media following in the local area.
Yes, the Japanese kicked our ass at Pearl Harbor, but I don’t think I need to remind you about how the United States responded.
Seriously, this feels like Christmas morning.
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George Orwell once wrote “Journalism is printing what somebody else doesn’t want printed. Everything else is public relations.”
Since I have worked as both a journalist and as a public relations professional, I can tell you that quotation from Orwell often rings quite true, especially in a small town where some things are considered off-limits for pesky reporters.
Since this is a column about the city of Saco and Thornton Academy, and since I graduated from T.A., I lifted the title for this column from my senior year yearbook: “A Campus Set Apart.”
Sounds nice, doesn’t it? A Campus Set Apart. A distinguished honor, a trumpeting of high achievement.
But what I want to know is this: A campus set apart from what, exactly?
Let’s pause here for a moment for some very necessary disclosure: I graduated from Thornton Academy in 1982. My sister also graduated from T.A., as did my father and both of my aunts. In fact, my grandfather taught there briefly before teaching at Biddeford High School.
So, I know a little bit about Thornton Academy, its reputation and its history.
More disclosure, since we’re also talking about the city of Saco: My youngest step sister, Jodi MacPhail also graduated from Thornton and is today the mayor of Saco.
Although Thornton Academy is a private school, it has also served as Saco’s default high school for nearly 200 years. That’s quite a history.
But despite this long-standing relationship between the city and Thornton, and the fact that these negotiations happen every few years, there seems to be a fair amount of friction between the two parties.
I posted the story on the Biddeford-Saco Community Facebook page on Wednesday morning. Within just a couple of hours, the accusations and fervent defense of one side’s position went almost off the rails.
That Facebook post reached more than 2,000 viewers within the first 24 hours, and it generated more than 117 comments.
I was stunned by the commentary, the bulk of which was aimed at defending Thornton Academy and criticizing the city’s negotiating team.
Honestly, I expected the reverse. As someone who tracks local issues very closely, I wrongly assumed that Saco taxpayers would naturally align closer to the city’s negotiating position.
Then again, the city of Saco does not employ a public relations professional, but Thornton Academy does. And it appears to be money well spent.
Maybe I’m a cynic, but it appeared that Thornton Academy had rallied their troops and circled their wagons even before the story was published. Many of the commenters didn’t disclose their own connections to the private school, including teachers and other employees.
Commentary in support of Thornton Academy pummeled the opposition by a margin of close to 9-1.
Wow, I thought. I better be careful about what I write about Thornton, especially if I have the temerity to tackle some of the school’s beloved mythology.
I was born in a small town
Sometimes it can be weird: being a reporter in a small town. Reporters are supposed to be objective and unbiased. Sometimes, it’s a bit tougher to accomplish those high ideals of journalism than it looks, especially when you bump into the people you write about at the grocery store or if your kids play on the same Little League team.
Simply questioning Thornton Academy or sympathizing with the city’s negotiating team feels almost treasonous to me. I am an alum, after all.
But unlike almost all of my 1982 classmates, I have a rather unique view of Thornton Academy.
It’s no secret that I was experiencing some difficulties during my teenage years. When things got too far out of control, my mother sent me to live with my uncle in West Peru. That transition happened just a few weeks into my sophomore year at Thornton.
Kids from the town of Peru were sent to Rumford High School, now Mountain Valley High School. I finished my sophomore year and then attended my entire junior year in Rumford.
But I begged my mother to let me return to Thornton so that I could graduate with all my “friends” from Saco before heading off to basic training in the U.S. Air Force.
In retrospect, I should have stayed at Rumford. I never really fit in at either Thornton or Rumford. It may surprise you – and I now find it quite ironic – that many kids from Rumford looked down their noses at kids from Peru. Imagine a snobby kid from Rumford. A contradiction of terms.
At least the undercurrents of elitism at Thornton were based on some measure of reality. But kids are kids, no matter where they go to school. Still, I was able to compare two high schools as a student of both.
Oh, the places you’ll go
The defense of Thornton on social media followed two very basic themes. 1.) Thornton Academy is a top-notch school, and 2.) Saco should just be grateful, stop asking questions and shut up. Thornton Academy, after all, is a private school. They answer to no one except their own self-appointed Board of Trustees, a virtual who’s who in Saco’s power structure.
But here’s one of the main rubbing points in this current negotiation: Saco representatives want just a bit of accountability and transparency from Thornton, including a proposal to have a city representative appointed as a non-voting member to the Board of Trustees.
Sounds reasonable, right?
Yeah, not so much. It was as if the city asked Thornton to change its name to Saco High School.
Make no mistake. The city of Saco is damned fortunate to have Thornton Academy as the primary option for all its public high school students.
But it should also be noted that Thornton Academy is also quite fortunate to have such a close relationship to the city, a steady, reliable and predictable source of income.
Many private schools struggle when the economy disrupts the ability of parents to pay private tuition costs. Thornton has a healthy buffer from those recession and inflationary woes: a buffer to the tune of more than $17 million per year in tuition costs from Saco taxpayers.
Furthermore, even though Thornton Academy can charge prime market tuition for its private students, it is still a non-profit entity and does not pay any property taxes on its acres and acres of manicured lawns and the several brick buildings that make up its campus; a campus set apart.
Let’s make a deal
From all accounts, the ongoing negotiations between Saco and Thornton Academy are based upon something that both sides agree upon. Both Thornton and Saco ultimately want what is best for Saco kids.
In any negotiating situation, both sides have to come to the table in good faith. Both sides have to give a little and both sides have to get a little. Otherwise, it’s not negotiating. It’s blackmail.
But let’s remember something for all of the people bragging about the success of their kids who went to Thornton and later got into very good colleges and universities: not every kid is college bound.
In fact, several Thornton Academy students take vocational classes at the Biddeford Regional Center of Technology.
However, according to Saco City Attorney Tim Murphy (who also serves on Thornton’s Board of Trustees), use of the word ‘Biddeford” anywhere on Thornton’s campus is a felony offense that carries a minimum two-year prison term in the town of Dayton.
Relax, Tim Murphy never really said that.
All kidding aside, some Saco school kids also require special-ed services. Not every kid is college bound. Saco has a responsibility to advocate for ALL of its students, not just the college-bound students or the outstanding athletes.
Eight of the 11 private high schools in Maine provide all their students with free lunch, consistent with a new state law that requires all public schools to offer free lunch. Thornton is one of the three private schools that does not offer that option. Why?
Although private schools like Thornton are exempt from the new law, it creates a dividing line between the haves and the have nots. Remember high school? Now imagine being one of just a few kids who has to ask for a free lunch.
To their credit, Thornton has a policy to expand free lunch for any student within 260 percent of the federal poverty rate, but it still forces students and their parents to go through the humiliation of asking for financial help.
The city of Saco is not looking to “take over” a private high school with an exemplary reputation, but if I’m going to fork over $17 million for something you can bet your sweet ass that I’m going to want something in return.
For comparison purposes, the city of Biddeford has a contract with a private firm that handles repair, maintenance and operations of all its photocopiers. That annual contract is roughly $150,000 a year and includes the school department.
Biddeford’s contract with that private firm has more transparency and accountability for photocopiers than Saco has for all of its high school students.
If Thornton doesn’t want public accountability, then maybe it should stop taking public funds. Many private companies across the country have government contracts, but they also have to follow certain rules including accountability and transparency.
Bath Iron Works strikes me as an exceptional shipyard, but when the Senate Appropriations Committee comes sniffing around for accountability and transparency regarding federal contracts, you can bet that BIW doesn’t tell Sen. Angus King to go pound sand.
Thornton Academy: Myth, Legend or Reality?
On a final note, while Thornton certainly has the prettiest high school campus in southern Maine, how does it stack up against other high schools when it comes to things other than landscaping?
As I said previously, I went to Thornton and Rumford High School. I would be hard-pressed to come up with any objective measure of which school was better.
I was one of those college-prep kids. In my sophomore year at Rumford High School, we were studying the works of Marcus Aurelius – in Latin. English teacher Richard Mullins – one of my favorite high school teachers – required us to do a deep-dive into Orwell’s Animal Farm, requiring essays and research to critique that work’s inspiration: the 1917 Bolshevik Revolution.
Thornton also had amazing and dedicated faculty who pushed us hard. One of my favorites was Norman Trottier, who adamantly refused to let me drop French IV during my senior year so that I could just coast toward basic training.
Phil Curtis was such a passionate and dedicated teacher at Thornton. He was so incredibly patient and kind towards me, even though I barely understood the mathematical foundation of two-plus-two.
There were so many other fine teachers at both Rumford and Thornton. How do you objectively measure which school is better? You really can’t.
Public schools in Maine are required by law to publicly post their MEA (Maine Educational Assessment) scores. Not Thornton.
So how do Saco taxpayers really know what they’re getting for their $17 million per year? Do taxpayers just have to blindly accept what the cheerleaders are screaming on the sidelines?
Maybe, but it would appear that there is also more than landscaping that “sets Thornton apart.” They also have a pretty good public relations department.
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It’s that time of year again. Summer is beckoning, and we will soon be celebrating Pride Month, an international observance celebrating members of the LGBTQ+ community during the month of June.
Right on cue, you can expect to see a lot of push-back about Pride Month on social media platforms such as Facebook, X and Instagram. Those lamenting the celebration of Pride Month will sing an all-too-familiar refrain:
“Why are they shoving this stuff down our throats?”
“Why isn’t there a celebration for heterosexual people?”
“I don’t mind gay people, but why do they have to make a big deal about this stuff?”
“It’s immoral and against my religious values.”
Since I am a happily married heterosexual, I thought it might be useful if I attempted to answer those questions from the perspective of someone who doesn’t “fly the rainbow flag.”
What is often overlooked is the fact that Pride Month is a celebration for everyone, even us grumpy, older straight people fit on the rainbow spectrum.
The point of Pride celebrations is the joyous relief that no one – no one – has to live in fear of retaliation or even violence just because of their gender, orientation, skin color, cultural heritage or anything else.
Violence. you say? Really? That’s just an exaggeration to illicit sympathy for social deviants, right? Ummm, . . . here, hold my beer.
Join me now for a trip in the Way-Back time machine. Actually, we’re not going too far back in time.
It is October 6, 1998. We are standing in a sprawling pasture not far from Fort Collins, Colorado. We can see a long wooden fence with blood stains.
This is the spot where college student Matthew Shepard was beaten and tortured by two other men.
Mathhew had been strapped to one of those fence posts. His attackers took their time brutally attacking him, celebrating their uncorked rage and hatred. They beat him relentlessly until he lost consciousness.
Matthew’s attackers left him there alone to die in an open field, his body shattered and still bleeding. Matthew died a few days later in a hospital room.
What was Matthew’s crime? Why did his attackers hate him so much? Why did they feel the need to take his life? What terrible thing had he done to spark so much anger, so much hatred?
Matthew was gay.
That’s it. Matthew was an adult male who loved another man. That’s it. That’s all.
Simply because he loved another man, Matthew’s attackers felt it was their God-given, righteous duty to mete out their own version of justice.
During their trial, one of the attackers told the Court that Matthew had made “sexual advances” toward him. Some people even expressed sympathy toward the two men who killed Matthew Shepard.
Now, with that out of the way, let me now try to answer those four questions.
Why are they shoving this stuff down our throats?
Well, for starters, having a parade and flying a flag is far cry from “shoving something down anyone’s throats.” Gay people have been around just as long as straight people, but have always been in the minority. Always made to feel that thy are “queers” and not worthy. Defective, immoral people: faggots and dykes.
It has been this way for millennia. Homosexuality has been condemned in literature, films, popular music and even religious texts including the Bible and the Quran.
Remember high school? Imagine if one of your classmates brought another boy to the prom? How would that have gone over? Imagine that girl living down the street giving another girl a Valentine’s Day card.
In reality, — until very, very recently — heterosexuality is what is crammed down every kid’s throat from birth onward.
What bothers you so much about seeing a rainbow flag or seeing gay people openly and proudly marching in a parade? Why are you so easily triggered by seeing people now able to express their love and identity? Don’t we all have the right to life, freedom and the pursuit of happiness?
Why isn’t there a celebration for straight people?
Seriously? Every other month except June is basically a celebration, honoring heterosexual people. It’s Mr. and Mrs. Claus, not Mr. and Mister Claus, right?
If you’re a straight person, odds are that you have always enjoyed the relative safety, comfort and acceptance of being straight.
You were never asked to live a lie, to hide your true feelings. To remain in a closet out of sight, and out of my mind.
Up until just a few years ago, gay people were expected to stay out of view. They were not allowed to marry the person they loved and cherished. They were not allowed to serve in the military. All that is slowly changing. That is why gay people can now – finally – celebrate the fact that they are gay.
I don’t mind gay people, but why do they have to make a big deal about being gay?
For starters, refer to point No. 2. Are you married? Ever been to a wedding? Know someone who is married? Marriage ceremonies are a really big deal and represent a multi-billion-dollar industry.
Why do straight people make such a big deal about their weddings, engagements and anniversaries? It’s all-over social media: Straight people celebrating their kids, sharing pictures of their honeymoons and their dream weddings.
Who we love IS a big deal and cause for celebration, straight, gay or whatever.
It’s immoral and against my religious values.
Many people are quick to say that homosexuality is a sin, an affront to God, the creator. I’d like to know what exactly is wrong with consenting adults loving each other. What bothers you so much about adults being able to live their own, authentic lives?
“Well, it’s prohibited in the Bible,” some folks say.
Yes, it is. In fact, the Bible has some very specific language describing homosexuality as abomination. (Leviticus 18:22 and Leviticus 20:13, not to mention other passages in the New Testament.
The Book of Leviticus offers the following: “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable, and “If a man lies with a man as one lies with woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”
I wonder if the two men who attacked and killed Matthew Shepard were thinking, “hey, we’re just following what the Bible says.”
It should be noted that the same book of the Bible also prohibits tattoos, eating bacon, lobster, clams and oysters.
The book of Leviticus also offers helpful advice for the proper rules of selling a slave and advocates the death penalty for adultery.
So, do we follow the Bible or just the selected parts we like?
I can almost hear some people screaming about transgender persons using public restrooms and the “unfairness” of athletic teams that allow biological men to compete on women’s teams.
I don’t have all the answers. But I do have faith. I believe a nation that figured out how to put a man on the moon can probably tackle and solve these controversial issues.
Remember, less than 75 years ago it was still quite fashionable to complain about Blacks using the same water fountains as their white counterparts.
Are some members of the LGBTQ+ community a bit too extreme and in-your-face? Yup. Being gay or trans does not necessarily exempt you from being an asshole or stop you from being obnoxious or rude in public.
But 99.9 percent of the LGBTQ+ community are just like you and me. They just want to heave a sigh of relief and celebrate the fact that they no longer have to remain hidden from view.
As far as I know, celebrating Pride Month is not a compulsory obligation. If Pride celebrations really bother you, don’t go to the parade or flag-raising ceremony.
But maybe ask yourself this: what exactly are you afraid of? Do you view homosexuality as a disease? Are you worried that if your kid reads a book about another kid with two dads, then your kid will decide to become gay. Really?
When, exactly, did you decide that you were straight? Did you get it from a book, a movie or a parade?
If you’re gay, you’re gay. If you’re straight, you’re straight. It’s not any more of a choice than your eye color or your height. It’s how you were born. It’s who you are. It’s not a choice. You don’t choose to be tall or short; to have blue eyes or brown eyes. You don’t choose where you were born. It’s really okay for us to be different and to be decent toward people different from ourselves.
You always have the choice to just be kind and respectful. If a rainbow offends you, simply turn away. Scroll past.
Relax. July will be here before you know it. And then we can ALL celebrate our freedom by waving flags, marching in parades and lighting fireworks. Remember, we are ALL equal, not just us straight, old, grumpy white guys.
Peace!
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For better or worse, I have a reputation in my hometown. I am the guy who holds local and state politicians’ feet to the fire. I rarely hesitate to publicly criticize elected officials when I think they have screwed up or acted inappropriately.
Biddeford Mayor Marty Grohman
My column, All Along The Watchtower, debuted on the pages of the Biddeford-Saco-OOB Courier in 1999. Since then, it has appeared in other publications, most recently on the pages of Saco Bay News. I always tell people that I do not play favorites. I call ’em like I see ’em.
My column was based on the prolific work of syndicated columnist Art Buchwald and also well-known Maine columnist, Al Diamon, author of Politics and Other Mistakes
Well, folks — in the interest of fairness and full disclosure — I think that pendulum of criticism should swing both ways.
In this installment, we will focus on some of my bad (and rather outrageous) behavior over the last few days.
In short, I owe an apology to Biddeford Mayor Marty Grohman and his family; and to City Council President Liam LaFountain.
If you’ve been paying attention lately to Biddeford politics, you already know that things have more or less blown-up over the last couple of weeks.
Our municipal elections were held only six months ago. Longtime Biddeford mayor Alan Casavant opted not to seek a seventh consecutive term. Voters chose former city councilor and state representative Marty Grohman to take over the helm at City Hall. Grohman won that seat with a comfortable margin of 54 percent over former state senator Susan Deschambault.
In that same election, LaFountain was unopposed for a second term on the council, representing Ward 7 (my ward). A few weeks later, the city council voted 6-3 to name LaFountain as the new council president.
Biddeford was getting a fresh start; a new perspective. Sure, the city was — and is — facing several challenges, but there is also ample room for optimism. Biddeford’s storied reputation of political bickering and City Hall drama seemed to be fading fast. We were beginning a second decade of being a more positive and attractive community.
Biddeford, the sixth largest city in Maine, suddenly found itself in an enviable place as a destination for fine dining, a boutique hotel, pristine beaches, thriving business parks and easy access to state highways.
Things were looking up. Yes, we are struggling — as are many Maine communities — with affordable housing and a growing unhoused population, but overall, the future seemed bright,
I have been covering the city of Biddeford for the better part of the last 30 years. We were in some unchartered waters.
Biddeford City Council President Liam LaFountain
Sure, we’ve had councilors resign before, but never two at basically the same time. The timing of the resignations became an issue. One would require a special election, the other — coming just a few days later — would require an appointment by the mayor without the need for public input.
Grohman was caught off-guard. LaFountain was caught off-guard. I was caught off-guard. Strange stuff. Lots of moving parts. Lots of questions. What’s the intent of the city charter in these situations? The city clerk was scheduled to go on vacation. A brand-new deputy clerk just started her job last week.
Yes, many people reached out to me. Some passed on rumors that I ignored. Others provided valuable information. Others were simply flabbergasted and raising questions about how the resignations should be handled.
Now, it’s not just Saco Bay News watching City Hall. Other media outlets are now reporting and paying attention to what is happening at Biddeford City Hall.
Let me be perfectly clear. My mental health issues are NOT and never have been an excuse for my stupid decisions. They do, however, provide a bit of context for what I am about to share.
I have a Bipolar-1 (manic-depressive) diagnosis, as well as severe anxiety and frequent bouts of schizoaffective disorder behaviors. Trust me. It can be challenging, especially for my wife and other family members. But it is NOT an excuse for my bad behavior last week.
Before the announcement of the city council resignations earlier this month, I was hard at work on three significant news stories. Sometimes, it takes weeks, even months, to put together significant news stories.
All three of these stories are connected to Biddeford City Hall. You’ll be reading about them in the near future. But the sudden and unexpected resignations threw a proverbial wrench into my workload.
Again, not an excuse for my boorish behavior, but mentioned here for context.
The journalism game can by hyper competitive. I have always been a competitive guy. The media industry is not a 9-5, Monday thru Friday gig.
Today, more than ever before, the media is a non-stop, 24-7 enterprise. We all want the story first. We all want your attention. Sure, we’re also doing a public service because we all basically believe in your right to timely, accurate and unfiltered information about your community but basically, we’re always competing.
In a recent blog post, I wrote “there is right way and a wrong way to resign from public office.”
Well, there is also a right way and wrong way to go about writing a news story. Last weekend, I chose the wrong way.
I almost literally had a meltdown while trying to obtain information about how the council vacancies would be handled. I was rude and belligerent. Sort of a “Do you know who I am?” moment of delusional grandeur.
I mean, really. I wasn’t working on the Pentagon Papers, the Watergate Scandal or the criminal trial of a former U.S. president.
Dude, it’s the weekend. Calm down, It’s a story about Biddeford City Hall intrigue, not the apocalypse. Get a grip.
On Friday, I called LaFountain, pressing for information. He was out of the country, but as always returned my call almost immediately with dignity and grace. He was also feeling pressure and doing his best to figure out the next right step. He was calm, respectful and doing his best to answer my questions.
I was acting in a complete opposite fashion. I wasn’t angry with him, but I found myself screaming into the phone, full of indignation, almost frothing at the mouth, my words laced with profanity. I was screaming and ranting about other people.
Liam was patient, thoughtful and respectful. He didn’t even try to interrupt my rant. I mumbled a half-assed apology for interrupting his vacation with my call. He actually thanked me for calling, said he understood my frustration and said I should call him back if I had more questions.
A few hours later, on Saturday morning I awoke with a proverbial hair across my ass. It’s 6:30 a.m. I am drinking coffee at my desk, muttering to myself. I’ll be damned if I am going to allow them to block the flow of public information, I tell myself. My blood pressure was soaring. They made a mistake of messing with a guy who buys ink by the barrel, I muttered.
My chest is puffed out now. My dog is begging for my attention, but I ignore her and instead begin crafting a story that I wanted to publish later that day. I wanted to have the news first. That was all that mattered to me.
It is now 7:45 a.m. Saturday. I send Mayor Grohman a terse text message. In essence, I tell him that it’s in his own best interest to call me back pronto. I am writing a story, with or without his input. At 8:17 a.m., I receive a text from the mayor. “I’ll email. Deadline?”
I hate text messages. It’s just so much easier to have a quick two-minute phone call, that way I can easily ask a follow-up question or for clarification. But whatever. You can’t really blame Grohman for being cautious with me. I have been acting like an arrogant prick for more than 72 hours. Grohman is smart. He’s probably pissed, most likely annoyed but he is responding on a Saturday morning.
I get the email from him with his official statement a few hours later. I then add fuel to the fire by sending him a series of pissy text messages. I ignored the fact that he was at a family function.
They say that all’s well that ends well. In this case, Marty and I had the opportunity to clear the air this week. He wasn’t his typical genial self. He was pissed and he (in a nice way) let me know that. I had to take it.
He was right. I was wrong. My judgement was clouded by my both my ego and my hyper-competitive nature. We got things squared away. We found a lot of common ground. Ultimately, we both want what is best for the city. We are both trying to stay ahead of a rather crazy curve of events.
I owe both Marty Grohman and Liam LaFountain a sincere apology for my belligerent behavior. They both acted much better than me, and I could stand to learn a valuable lesson from each of them.
Me Culpa.
Like, I said at the beginning: I call ’em, like I see ’em.
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After more than 12 years, I have finally gotten around to publishing an update about who I consider to be the most influential politicians, policy makers and staffers in the Biddeford-Saco area. The Top-20.
This list is a bit different from my original 2012 list. Most notably, I have shortened the list from 25 names in 2012 to our current list of the top-20 movers and shakers.
Several people on this list are not elected officials or perennial candidates. Some of these folks work behind the scenes, but they all have a noticeable impact on public policy.
With just one notable exception, this list does NOT include any candidates who are hoping to be on the November ballot. Not including those folks does alter the rankings, but I was striving for fairness.
Speaking of fairness, let’s get something clear right now before we proceed any further. The criteria I used did NOT include gender, age, sexual orientation or race considerations, in any way, shape or form.
Some of the names on this list may surprise you. You may not like everyone on this list. In fact, I don’t like everyone on this list. This LIST is NOT about who are the coolest and most likable people in northern York County.
20.) Dominic “Alliteration is Cool” Deschambault
Dom Deschambault/Facebook
Dom Deschambault leads off this year’s list, but probably not for the reasons you might imagine. Sure, his mother, Susan, is a former state senator, city councilor and a one-time mayoral candidate, but Dom is making a name for himself beyond his family heritage.
Deschambault is one of the few people on the list who is able to seamlessly align with both the old and new Biddeford. A former BHS football player, Dom is a vicious defender of Tiger Pride, but he’s also just as comfortable hanging around a growing demographic of downtown hipsters. He lives in a converted downtown mill building and enjoys hanging out at places like Sacred Profane.
Dominic is a relatively young guy, but he’s already served on the Biddeford School Committee and on the Biddeford Housing Authority. The only thing really holding him back is the fact that he tends to wear his heart on his sleeve. He can be a bit thin-skinned and sometimes reacts just a bit too quickly. But if he can grow a thicker skin (likely) then there will be little stopping him from having even more influence in his hometown in the very near future. Basically, he’s someone to watch.
19.) James “I need to hire more assistants” Bennett
Jim Bennett/City of Biddeford
I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts that you didn’t see this one coming. Although I have several concerns about his management style, there is little doubt that Biddeford City Manager Jim Bennett has a big influence on local public policy, at least on this side of the Saco River where he runs city hall with an iron fist. His reputation and condescending attitude have not helped Biddeford form a stronger alliance with our neighbors in Saco, but few people in Maine better understand municipal budgets or tax-increment financing than Bennett.
In fact, just a few weeks ago I was speaking with someone who lived in Old Orchard Beach a few decades ago when Bennett was then the town manager in that community. “Jim Bennett literally saved our town,” this person told me. “We were on the brink of receivership, and Jim Bennett was the main factor in putting us back on course and getting us back into good financial standing.”
Jim Bennett is smart. He’s also cunning and a bit arrogant, but undeniably smart. That’s why Jim Bennett is on this year’s list. If you disagree with him, he’ll just tell you that you don’t understand the situation. Remember, I told you that this is not a popularity contest.
18.) Jeanne “Ticket To Ride” Saunders
Saunders/Seaver photo
I had the pleasure of meeting Jeanne Saunders last year during an interview I was writing for Saco Bay News. Saunders lives in Saco, and although she is retired, she still spends an average of 40 hours weekly in advocating for senior citizens in the Biddeford-Saco region.
Saunders is leveraging her career in nursing and public health policy to successfully fight for seniors. In addition to being the Program Coordinator of Age Friendly Saco, Saunders also serves on the board of directors for the Biddeford-Saco-OOB Transit system.
In 2018, Saunders was awarded the Midge Vreeland Public Service Award by the Maine Public Relations Council for her work in assisting seniors in Saco. More recently, in 2022, she was named as the recipient of AARP’s Andrus Award, which recognizes and honors individuals who make a difference in the lives of others.
Jeanne Saunders is not afraid to bend the ears of local politicians. She is a tireless advocate, but is also widely respected as a person who is reasonable and knows how to get things done.
17.) Jim “I’ve Got Some Time on My Hands” Godbout
Godbout/Godbout Plumbing
Who doesn’t like Jim Godbout? Anyone? [Crickets]. As I said previously, this is not a popularity contest, but being well-liked, well-known, much-admired and almost universally respected sure doesn’t hurt when it comes to pushing levers in the sphere of local policy and politics.
A hometown boy who graduated from Thornton Academy in 1981, Godbout has built a successful plumbing and heating business on the bedrock principles of hard work and customer service. But what makes him somewhat extraordinary is his seemingly never-ending willingness to help his community.
If something needs to get done, whether revitalizing Waterhouse Field or leading the way in the renovation of the former St. Andre church for a planned teen center, Godbout is always raising his hand and the first to volunteer. He also excels in knowing how to get other people involved in community projects.
They literally named a street in Biddeford after this guy. The one and only thing I don’t like about Godbout is that his constant smile, tremendous work ethic and willingness to volunteer makes the rest of us look lazy and selfish.
And in the unlikely event you need another reason to admire Godbout, he is one of the most unassuming people you will ever meet. Unlike so many others on this list, he never frets about publicity. He expects nothing in return. He is not about self-promotion. Instead, he’s just a good guy doing good things. If you’re running for office, an endorsement from Godbout is as good as gold in your pocket.
16.) Mark “Let Me Make You a Sandwich” Johnston
Johnston/Seaver photo
Mark is one of the few people who remain from those listed more than a decade ago. In 2012, I dubbed him as the Number One political/policy person in the Biddeford-Saco area. Although he has slipped quite a bit in his rankings, he is still someone who can influence and shape public policy.
In 2012, I wrote this about the former mayor of Saco:
He can play nice or he can play mean. He’s polite. He’ll let you decide how you want to proceed before he tells you what you are actually going to do.
“Mark Johnston is the consummate politician . . . He’s Bugsy Seigel, Charlie Luciano and Meyer Lansky all rolled into one affable, near-sighted man with an uncanny resemblance to Sir Elton John.”
Local and state politicians still seek Johnston’s counsel, and that’s why he remains on this list.
Truth be known, Mark reached out to me a few weeks ago and suggested that the real influencers, movers and shakers in the area’s political realm are the dozens and dozens of men and women who sacrifice their time and energy by serving on local boards, commissions and committees, such as the Zoning Board of Appeals, the Harbor Commission or the Planning Board. Those people, Johnston explained, are the ones who make it possible for our communities to operate.
I agree with him.
15.) Roger “I Used to Have a Badge” Beaupre
Beaupre/Campaign photo
Yet again, we have another holdover from the 2012 list. Beaupre has actually moved up a few notches from his Number 19 ranking in 2012. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that he is no longer the Biddeford Police Chief and is now serving in a seat he has long wanted to hold, a member of the Biddeford City Council.
During the November 2023 campaign, I had serious doubts about whether Beaupre could cash in decades of service to the community for political support.
Beaupre won the Ward Three council seat in a close contest against a rather savvy and energetic politician. The Ward Three seat was the only contested ward seat on the council. (Three people, however, did vie for the two at-large seats on the council. The two incumbents easily won.)
But back to Beaupre. He has been on the council for fewer than six months, but he is already making a name for himself and watching the budget process like a hawk watching a field mouse.
But what makes Beaupre more influential than many other members of the council? Simply because Beaupre is pretty much all that remains from a once very powerful and influential block of voters: Older White Guys with a Franco-American ancestry that can be traced back 14 generations to whatever old country they came from.
Yes, Councilor Marc Lessard could certainly beat that same drum, but Beaupre is a bit less predictable than someone like Lessard. He is stealth, measured. Lessard is certainly smart, but he has almost resigned himself to the lonely place of being a fiscal conservative on the council. I’m curious, and I’m watching Beaupre closely. I think he has yet to show us his true potential as a politician.
14.) Roxi “May I see Your Tickets” Suger
Suger/Facebook
This is a tough one because I don’t really know much about Roxi beyond what I have heard from other people in the community or read on her website. Her partner, Julian Schlaver, serves on the Biddeford City Council, but word on the street says that Roxi wears the proverbial pants in that relationship.
While Schlaver is often quiet, calculating and demure, Roxi is somewhat the polar opposite: outgoing, ambitious and tenacious, especially when it comes to helping less fortunate members of our community.
Roxi is sort of a fundraising genius. Perhaps best known for being the lead organizer of the annual Biddeford Ball, a charity fashion event that raises money for the creation of new city parks and other worthwhile goals.
She is a fashion designer and the owner of Suger, a sustainable clothing manufacturer.
On her website, Roxi describes herself as: (Her words) “Open-hearted and gentle, clever and curious, a beautiful and powerful mix of passion, humility, and originality.”
Humility? Really? Her website continues: “Roxi Suger is the soul and spirit behind the brand of Angelrox. Dedicated to making a difference in both life and business, to spreading the joy and peace that so organically flows from her to the sweet angels she encounters, she delights in connecting with others to care, share, hope, and give.”
Who the hell is writing her website content? But hey, she is doing some pretty cool stuff for her community; and that’s more than a lot of people can say about themselves, including yours truly.
13.) Linda “Let me check with Justin” Valentino
Valentino/File
Former State Senator Linda Valentino of Saco may no longer be serving in elected office, but she is still very much connected to her hometown’s political infrastructure.
In 2012, I described Valentino as follows: “Linda is a thinker who doesn’t threaten those who don’t think much. Translated: she is very good at making people feel good about themselves. She also has a knack for knowing when it’s time to take the gloves off. If you don’t believe me, just ask [former mayor] Don Pilon.
She has slipped just a tad from her Number 8 ranking in 2012, but she is still a political force to be reckoned with, strategically connected to everyone who matters in Saco (It’s a short list).
12.) Alan “It’s Time for A Nap” Casavant
Casavant/Seaver photo
Alan has been involved in local politics longer than anyone else on this year’s list. First elected to the Biddeford City Council in the mid-1970s, Casavant also served four terms in the Maine House of Representatives.
Casavant also became the second-longest serving mayor of Biddeford. Casavant held the mayor’s seat by winning six consecutive elections over a 12-year period. Only Louis “Papa” Lausier served longer, a total of 14 years between 1941 and 1955.
Alan and I have known each other for a while. I was his campaign manager when he first decided to run for the mayor’s seat in 2011. He could have easily won without me. He was well-liked and respected, and the city was more than ready for a change.
Casavant made good on his campaign promise of restoring dignity and professionalism in City Hall. He steered the city through a period of turmoil, when a collection of malcontents decided to exploit the tragic and awful issue of alleged sexual abuse by two former police officers for their own political gain.
Casavant proved time after time that he was much tougher and resilient than he appeared. When most voters wanted to approve a racino, Casavant said he would not support the idea. He still won by a huge margin over the incumbent who supported the idea of a racino in Biddeford.
Casavant gladly and enthusiastically took over the torch of revitalizing downtown Biddeford. While he faced strong opposition for his support of a paid-parking garage on Peal Street, he recently said he that he stands “110 percent” behind the development and construction of that garage.
In fact, Casavant says the city could use a second parking garage, located a bit closer to the city’s core. Alan left office on a high note. But it was time for a fresh voice and a new set of eyes. You could literally see the relief in Casavant’s eyes during his last city council meeting.
Now Casavant gets to finally enjoy his well-deserved retirement, but he still offers his guidance and counsel to Mayor Marty Grohman and many others who want to be involved in local politics. In 2012, I ranked him as Number 4. The only reason he slipped a few notches, is because he no longer has to tolerate outrageous Facebook inquiries and criticisms.
Does he still have influence? Well, does Jim Bennett (No. 19) still have a job? Yes, and that’s primarily because Alan Casavant is one the very few people in his corner.
11.) Vassie “Let’s Get it Done” Fowler
Fowler/Saco Bay News
If you listen to my wife, she will tell you that I waited to publish this list until Vassie was out of the country and unable to beat the crap out of me for putting her name on this list.
Vassie is the executive director of the Seeds of Hope Neighborhood Resource Center in Biddeford. She is a powerful (and effective) advocate for the region’s unhoused population.
Truth be known, Fowler is also a powerful (and effective) voice for just about anything she decides to tackle. Sure, she doesn’t hold public office now, but she is super connected behind the scenes.
For many years, she and her husband Jack were featured as Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus for Biddeford’s Downtown Holiday celebration. She also served on several boards and commissions, including the Joyful Harvest Neighborhood Center, Toys for Tots in Northern York County and she was elected to serve on the Biddeford School Committee.
A few years ago, she and her husband were given a key to the city in recognition for their long and countless contributions to the community. Sure, Vassie is sassy, but she also knows the players and how to get things done.
And now, for the Top-10 political movers and shakers in Biddeford and Saco . . .
10.) Tim “I Have a Plan” Harrington
Harrington/Jim Neuger, MaineBiz
If there’s one name often associated with the city of Biddeford’s ongoing renaissance, real estate developer Tim Harrington would be near the top of that list.
Harrington is a true visionary and willing to take some serious risks to make a plan work. In fact, one of his recent projects has become the focal point for Biddeford’s rebounding brand as a destination: a downtown luxury resort hotel that features a roof-top swimming pool on what was not long ago a crumbling, neglected and vacant former mill building.
Now finished with that stunning project, Harrington today is knee-deep in redeveloping a languishing and mostly vacant shopping center into a family-oriented, indoor-recreation complex.
Harrington is more than just a visionary with good luck. He is always considerate of the community that surrounds him. He does not seek the limelight, and places immense value on collaboration.
In summary, Harrington is not much different than another well-known real estate developer, Mike Eon. Like Harrington, Eon prefers the background, not the limelight; and both men sincerely care about community input and perception. So why is Harrington on this list and Eon is not?
To put it simply, I have a gut feeling that we will be seeing much more coming from Harrinton over the next few years. While Eon still has loads of potential, I think he might be enjoying a slower pace these days. Who knows? Just my gut,
9.) Delilah “Can You Help Us” Poupore
Poupore/LinkedIn
In case you have been sleeping under a rock for the last 15 years, Delilah Poupore is the executive director of the Heart of Biddeford, a non-profit organization with a mission to stimulate the downtown economy and improve community activity and connections within the city’s core.
Delilah is another one of those people who seems to be (strangely) always smiling. She has developed a proven track record of working closely with city officials to make things happen. She is also very keen on collaboration, working quite closely with the Biddeford-Saco Chamber of Commerce and Industry, as well as the Heat of Biddeford’s sister organization across the river, Saco Spirit.
Delilah avoids the spotlight, but she does not hesitate to step up to the podium when seeking assistance or approval for a community event.
She is a well-respected member of the business community and accordingly is often approached by political candidates seeking her advice. She has more than earned her spot in the Top-10.
8.) Michael “Aww shucks” Cantara
Cantara/Seaver photo
Former judge, district attorney and mayor Michael Cantara remains as the only person on this list to remain in the Top-10 of our rankings. In 2012, I ranked him at Number Five. He has moved only a few spots down the list and that’s just because he decided to retire from the bench.
When mayoral candidate Susan Deschambault’s team was looking for key endorsements, they naturally called on Cantara. The former judge was one of many leaders in the state Democratic Party who openly endorsed Deschambault’s campaign in an advertisement that included state senators and people like Justin Alfond.
That ad was literally, the bat signal for Democrats in a supposedly non-partisan election. If you vote blue, you better vote for Sue. (No, those were not the words used in the ad, but they should have been.) That’s what they get for not having me run that campaign. You see, I actually have a winning track record.
All that aside, Mr. Cantara, unlike me, is a true gentleman. He is kind, thoughtful and extraordinarily intelligent.
Despite Deschambault’s loss, Cantara’s name is still very much respected all over the state. For good reason.
7.) Justin “Do You Like This Picture of Me?” Chenette
Chenette/Sweetser
When it comes to shameless self-promotion and spotlight grabbing, no one in southern Maine does it better than former State Senator Justin Chenette of Saco.
Chenette is currently serving as a member of the York County Commissioners. Until he was elected, almost nobody in York County knew that there was such a thing as the York County Commissioners.
If Chenette ever stubs his toe on his way to the Hannaford supermarket, you can be assured that he will submit a press release about it, along with a complimentary photo of his smiling face.
Today, Chenette serves as the public relations point person for Sweetser, one of Maine’s oldest and largest providers of mental health services. For reasons I cannot explain, every press release about Sweetser seems to include a photo of Chenette.
As much as this kid grates on my nerves, you simply cannot deny that he is very skilled at political gamesmanship. I don’t have to worry if Justin will no longer return my calls just because I publicly criticized him. Justin likes reporters more than I like pineapple on my pizza. Delicious!
6.) Jodi “Can I Put a Sign on Yor Lawn?” MacPhail
MacPhail/City of Saco
Well, here’s something new and something I would have never imagined 12 years ago: One of my relatives is on this list.
Truth be known, the new mayor of Saco and I are only related through her mother’s marriage to my father several years ago. We didn’t grow up together or anything, but I can tell you stories about her when she was 12 years-old that would curl your toes. Just kidding. Not Kidding. Whatever.
A few months ago, Jodi made history by becoming the first female mayor in Saco. In fact, she was unopposed for the seat.
A few years ago, when she first told me that she was thinking about running for the city council, my response was immediate and definite: “Don’t do it,” I advised. “You’d be walking into certain death.”
Secretly, I had my doubts about whether Jodi was up for the task. I didn’t take her seriously. I was wrong. Very wrong.
Jodi has already delivered on one of her key campaign platforms: to provide a better connection between Saco City Hall and residents. She holds open office hours, an idea that Biddeford Mayor Marty Grohman described as “intriguing.”
It’s only been a few months since she won her election, but I think she’s doing a pretty good job, and I think it’s because she genuinely loves doing it.
Besides, it gets me off the hook of ever having to cover a city council meeting in Saco. Sweet!
5.) Kevin “Please Don’t Take My Picture” Roche
Kevin Roche recently won an election to the Saco School Board, but he is perhaps best known for his work as president of the “S.O.S: Save Our Shores organization in the Camp Ellis neighborhood.
I don’t really know much about Kevin. But I can tell you that he is not tall, he loves hockey and knows the pulse of his community. What he lacks in height, he compensates with intelligence and wit.
He is a quiet, thoughtful guy, which leads me to think his political future will be somewhat limited.
Roche knows how to maneuver, whether its dealing with a behemoth bureaucracy like the U.S. Army Corps or Engineers or how to get the best seat on the Green Line at the Kenmore Square station.
He is pretty much the opposite of Justin Chenette (No. 7). It’s hard to find a photo of Roche in any of the usual places. He is a bit cagey, and I like that.
4.) Marty “I’m in Your Corner” Grohman
Grohman/Campaign photo
Marty Grohman seems to still be settling into his new role as the mayor of Biddeford. It’s understandable. It feels like the city of Biddeford is still trying to get comfortable with the fact that Alan Casavant (No. 12) is no longer the mayor.
Sort of like a second date. Should I make my move?
Grohman is a nice enough guy, maybe just a little too nice. He runs city council meetings like he’s in Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. At any given moment, I’m half expecting King Friday, Henerietta Pussycat or Daniel Tiger to jump up from behind the council dais.
Grohman is a bit over the top and reliably effusive with his praise and compliments. You found a seat? Good for you! Nice job! We certainly appreciate you being here tonight! We can hardly wait to see if you have something to share! Gracias! Merci! We’re a super diverse bunch of folks, and we’re mighty excited about sustainability here in the Land of Make Believe.
Grohman has been criticized by many folks who see him as not much more than a political opportunist, invariably in search of another campaign or photo-op. Despite all that, Marty is actually the real deal.
While many politicians bloviate about climate change and sustainability for political points, Marty actually rides a bike to work. Even when it’s raining. Basically, he puts his money where his mouth is.
But why is the mayor of Biddeford ranked higher on this list than the new mayor of Saco? Is it sexism? No.
It’s because Marty also has statewide connections, having served in the Maine House of Representatives. On the flip side of that coin, Marty is the walking, talking definition of “when smart people do dumb things,” like taking on entrenched Congresswoman Chellie Pingree. Marty has potential and a good Rolodex. Keep your eyes on him.
3.) Liam “Does this tie match?” LaFountain
LaFountain/Seaver photo
Speaking of keeping an eye on someone, I advised Saco Bay News readers earlier this year to keep a close eye on this rising political star.
Liam LaFountain is the youngest member of the Biddeford City Council and is just beginning his second term. Despite his age and limited tenure on the council, his council peers voted overwhelmingly in support of his plan to become the next council president.
When asked my thoughts before making his move, I advised the young and eager city councilor to tread lightly and not make waves. I wrongly predicted he would get no more than two votes for his quest to oust long-time councilor Norman Belanger from the post.
Belanger never saw it coming. The move caught him by surprise. The vote was 6-3 among the nine councilors. Belanger was stunned. I was stunned. LaFountain just quietly picked up his laptop and moved to his new seat next to the mayor.
There is a back-story to that chain of events, but I’m not going to share that. At least not now.
LaFountain is from good family stock. His father Lloyd, an attorney, previously served on the council and also served as a member of the Maine State Senate for four terms. His grandfather, Lloyd, Sr., is also held in high regard throughout the city.
Liam, however, strikes me as a walking contradiction. He is young, a proverbial millennial. But he is careful, deliberate and respectful of his elders. Sure, he cares a lot about what people think about him, but he’s also confident and comfortable in his own skin.
Watching that council president vote was riveting, like watching a wolf chase and ultimately take down a fleeing doe. Circle of life, baby. Circle of life.
LaFountain is super committed to the job, going well out of his way to keep his constituents informed about almost everything happening at City Hall. When the city received complaints about dangerous traffic on May Street, LaFountain spent the better part of a week, knocking on neighbor’s doors to get their input and advice.
I expect big things from LaFountain; and I will never underestimate him again.
2.) Jeremy “Just Hear Me Out” Ray
Ray/LinkedIn
Of course, Jeremy Ray is high up on this list. His political influence straddles both sides of the Saco River.
In a brilliant move to both improve efficiency and save taxpayer dollars, Ray was appointed to be the superintendent of schools for both Biddeford and Saco.
Last year, Ray was named as Maine’s 2023 Superintendent of the Year. In their nomination of Ray, members of the Biddeford School Committee described Ray as a transparent, engaged, and highly visible leader. They went on to list several of his accomplishments, including hiring a Development Director to focus on private fundraising and grants to help bolster the taxpayer-infused bottom line; a 17 percent increase in the music and theater programs opportunities; and helping to establish a STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) Academy, “which has fueled the imagination and interests of many students.”
School superintendents across the state heap praise on Ray and his ability to get complex projects moving in the right direction.
Last year, Ray urged Biddeford voters to support a plan that would close the crumbling but much beloved JFK Memorial School by consolidating those students into an extended facility at the Biddeford Primary School.
The voters listened to Ray, and overwhelmingly approved his $9.5 million bond request. Jeremy Ray knows each and every elected official within 200 square miles of his office. Maybe a slight exaggeration, but you get the point. He has influence.
And now, drum roll please:
The Number One Position. Numero Uno on the list of the most influential politicians and policy wonks in the Biddeford Saco area . . .
If you’re a political junkie, you probably saw this coming from 10 miles away. Ladies and Gentlemen; boys and girls, I present to you, Ryan Fecteau.
Ryan Fecteau of Biddeford/Courtesy photo from Maine House of Representatives
There is absolutely no doubt about why Fecteau should be on this list. Twelve years ago, he was little more than a recent high school graduate with political ambition.
Today, he is once again running for office, building on an already impressive political legacy.
Ryan Fecteau served four terms in the Maine House of Representatives and was chosen by his peers to become Speaker of the House. He is the youngest person to ever serve in that position and the first openly-gay person to hold that office.
Because of Maine’s term limit laws, Ryan briefly left politics (wink, wink) to take a job within the Governor Mills Administration’s Office of Housing Policy.
That gig led him to become a senior vice president with Avesta Housing, one of New England’s largest housing providers.
A few months ago, Ryan and his partner Dylan purchased a new home, which is located in a different legislative district, but still in Biddeford.
When Democrat State Rep. Erin Sheehan announced earlier this year that she would be stepping down at the end of this term, the press release distributed to the media was more of an announcement that Fecteau would be seeking the seat, hoping for a triumphant return to Augusta.
You don’t get to become Speaker of the House by not knowing how to carefully break eggs and make deals across the aisle. Ryan accomplished all this before he was even old enough to serve as president of the United States . . . but I wouldn’t rule that out either.
A few weeks ago, the Biddeford City Council quietly approved Mayor Grohman’s appointment of Dylan Doughty (Fecteau’s partner) as an alternate member of the Biddeford Planning Board.
I’m sure that (wink, wink) Ryan had nothing to do with that appointment.
There is little doubt that Ryan will win his next election in November. He meets all the guidelines: he’s a registered Democrat with a pulse. The last time a Republican won that district was when Fred Flintstone was still working at the quarry.
That’s it, folks! More than 5,300 words. I look forward to your feedback; the good, the bad and the ugly. Have a great night!
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This is a story about a Maine state senator and some very blatant hypocrisy and the pure political exploitation of a religious holiday.
Despite the claims made by some neo-conservatives and other outright bigots, I believe — as did former President Ronald Reagan — that our country is only made stronger and more noble because we embrace and assimilate many different cultures and ethnicities under one umbrella; a nation where all those seeking freedom can co-exist equally and each set a course in the pursuit of happiness.
Henry Ingwersen/ Campaign site photo
Diversity is a good thing. Inclusion is a good thing — right up until such ideals are exploited for political favor or for silly campaign fodder.
As President Reagan eloquently explained in his 1987 speech before the World Affairs Council, “You can live in Germany, Turkey, or Japan, but you can’t become a German, a Turk, or Japanese,” Reagan said. “But anyone, from any corner of the earth, can come live in America and become an American. That is the essence and ultimate strength of our nation.”
But this is not a column about Ronald Reagan.
Instead, this is a column about State Sen. Henry Ingwersen, a Democrat seeking re-election to again represent the communities of Biddeford, Arundel and Kennebunk in the Maine State Senate for a second term.
Ingwersen is a nice enough guy, but he also might possibly be the whitest person to ever roam the shores of southern Maine. And he knows it. I think it actually causes him pain.
Ingwersen recently appeared almost desperate to showcase his appreciation for the ideals of diversity and inclusion. So desperate, in fact, that he actually took the time to send Saco Bay News a press release pointing out the fact that he attended a recent dinner to celebrate and honor Maine’s growing Muslim community during a time of their high holiday celebrations.
I think it’s awesome that Ingwersen took the time to attend the recent Iftar Celebration dinner, which celebrates the end of the daily fast during Ramadan. The community dinner was held at Southern Maine Health Care last Saturday.
Saturday’s celebration was rescheduled due to poor weather conditions. Thus, this celebration of the Muslim faith was held smack dab between Good Friday and Easter, two of the most important holidays in the Christian faith.
Laura and I were invited to the event but were unable to attend the rescheduled dinner. I was looking forward to it because I know next to nothing about the culture surrounding the Muslim faith.
According to a nugget I found on the city of Biddeford’s official website, ”during the holy month of Ramadan, Muslims worldwide dedicate time to spiritual reflection; at the heart of this sacred month lies the principle of charity, known as ‘Zakat’ in Arabic. Charity (Zakat) holds profound significance as one of the Five Pillars of Islam, underscoring the importance of sharing one’s wealth with those in need.”
More about the celebration and its cultural significance can be found in the April 8 edition of the Biddeford Beat newsletter, a municipal publication distributed online by city officials.
Full disclosure: I was raised Catholic and did not attend Mass on either Good Friday or on Easter Sunday. I have a complicated relationship with God, but I think He/She/It appreciates the fact that I avoid the hypocrisy of just going to Mass on high holidays such as Christmas and Easter.
But back to Ingwersen. I don’t recall getting a press release from the senator celebrating Easter, Chanukah or Wesak, which celebrates the birth of Buddha.
No press release and accompanying photo of Henry Ingwersen on Ash Wednesday or any other of the more boring traditional holidays likely celebrated by an overwhelming percentage of his constituents.
And that’s a good thing. Elected officials should really leave religion at home and not use it to curry the voters’ favor or to appear more “hip and diverse.”
The ultimate irony here is that Ingwersen politically decimated a Christian pastor who ran unsuccessfully as the Republican nominee for the District 32 senate seat.
I, and many others, found it a bit strange that Rev. David Corbett used his religious title in his campaign materials, including his lawn signs.
Despite common misconceptions, there is no specific mention of a “separation of church and state” in the Constitution. The First Amendment does, however, prohibit the government from establishing a national religion.
Many Democrats across the country are currently mocking Donald Trump’s sickening campaign ploy to sell autographed Bibles.
The Democrats laugh and point and Trump’s blatant hypocrisy and how he exploits Christians for his own political gain.
What would they think about Ingwersen actively seeking media attention for attending a religious event? Is what’s good for the goose good for the gander?
Ingwersen should publicly apologize for trying to use a wonderful community event for his own political gain.
In the movie Jaws, Police Chief Martin Brody says: “I’m the chief of police. I can do anything.” He soon learns a lesson about his arrogance.
Hopefully, Henry will learn a lesson, too.
Attending the dinner and celebration is important. Many other local politicians attended the event. But sending out a press release and a photo of yourself at the event is just boorish.
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The title of this week’s blog post comes from writer Douglas Adams and his series of books in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy anthology.
I thought it was an apt title for a column about Bobby Mills’ quite sudden and rather mystifying resignation from the Biddeford City Council on Tuesday afternoon. Mills will also resign his current position as York County Treasurer, effective April 15.
Bob Mills/ Facebook photo
In response to a phone call, Mills sent me a curt text message saying he was resigning his public offices (yes, plural) for “personal reasons.”
I have been covering Bob Mills’ political career for nearly 15 years. It’s been quite a ride.
In all honesty, I think I have sometimes gone a bit overboard when critiquing Mills’ service on the city council. I routinely criticized him for bloviating during council meetings and for his incessant self-promotion. In summary, I think I have been just a bit too harsh on Councilor Mills and his service to the people he represents.
I once told a friend that only Bob Mills was able to miraculously outpace both Marty Grohman and Justin Chenette when it comes to seizing almost every opportunity to win public office.
Mills was first elected to the city council in 2007. He once fended off a five-way challenge for his seat. He also unsuccessfully ran against fellow Democrat Megan Rochelo for her seat in the Maine House of Representatives.
But something strange has happened in the last couple of years. Mills has become a lot more measured, a lot more thoughtful and a lot more professional. In all honesty, he does take his take his service to the community very seriously.
One of his fellow councilors described Mills as “tenacious and 110 percent dedicated” to his constituents and the city as a whole.
Serving on the city council is a thankless job. It is time consuming and offers a monthly stipend of less than $100, working out to about $1.15 an hour, considering the time needed to review documents, constituent service, attend workshops, special meetings and regular meetings of the council.
I also have a lot of respect for Mills because of his ability to accept criticism from blowhards like me without ever making things personal. We may never be close friends but Mills always — always — treated me with respect, courtesy and professionalism. He always returned my calls; always treated me fairly. In retrospect, maybe he was the bigger and better man than me.
It’s quite easy for people like me to sit back and publicly criticize politicians, but it’s not so easy to endure those criticisms when you’re sitting on the other side of the fence.
Because Mills has served fewer than 180 days since his last election, the city will need to hold a special election to fill the now vacant Ward Four seat on the city council.
I am sure that the city will find a decent and honorable person to fill the vacancy, but speaking just for me, I will honestly miss Bob Mills and his presence on the council.
Appearing before 100 reporters at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in 1962, former president Richard Nixon lashed out at the media, following his bitter loss in the California gubernatorial election.
“You won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore,” Nixon told the press corps. “because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference.”
Well, it looks like this is my last bog post about Bobby Mills. Good luck, sir and my sincere thanks for your long tenure of service to our community. I will miss you.
Thanks for all the fish.
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Note: This is the unedited version of my March 8, 2024 installment of All Along the Watchtower that originally appeared on the Saco Bay News website.
It probably would not come as much of a surprise if I were to tell you that a lot of people don’t like me very much.
Chief among those who will never join the official Randy Seaver Fan Club is none other than Biddeford City Manager James Bennett.
City Manager James Bennett. Photo credit: City of Biddeford website.
According to several sources, Bennett really, really does not like me.
He hates me more than Richard Nixon hated Carl Bernstein; more than Paul LePage hates Bill Nemitz.
Of course, Jim has never said that to my face, but that’s pretty much par for the course when it comes to Biddeford’s city manager.
Some people don’t like me because I have strong opinions and rarely turn down an opportunity to share those opinions with as many people as possible.
Others are jealous of my rugged good looks, my brilliant mind and my ability to string together sentences on an empty stomach.
But mostly, people are jealous of me because of my smoking hot wife. They shake their heads, wondering how Laura could possibly want to share her bed with a significantly overweight, bald guy who wears partial dentures and takes five different medications to combat persistent mental health issues.
Sadly, every single thing in the above paragraph is absolutely true. Not a lick of sarcasm. (Smoking two packs of non-filtered cigarettes every day for nearly 40 years takes a toll. Just trust me on this.)
Back to Bennett.
While there are several people in Biddeford who would probably love to see me jump to my death from atop the MERC smokestack, few of them have as much reason to hate me as does Jim Bennett.
Over the last couple of years, I have been a thorn in Bennett’s heel. A proverbial fly in the ointment —- in short, I have been a real pain in his ass.
I have publicly critiqued his management style. I have talked and written about things that he would probably prefer to keep under the radar. I pester him, calling his office and sending him emails in an effort to dig up and report public information.
I have written and published stories that don’t always paint the most flattering picture of my community.
Why do I do this? Why am I such a jerk? Who needs pesky reporters roaming the hallways of City Hall unsupervised?
I mean, really. The city has its own Facebook page. In fact, our tax dollars are used so that the city can write its own news about what the city is doing. What could possibly go wrong?
Why do we need independent, third-party journalists?
I’m a believer
This coming week (March 10-16) we will once again celebrate National Sunshine Week, and it has nothing to do with turning our clocks forward one hour.
Sunshine Week is a national initiative spearheaded by the American Society of News Editors. It was founded in 2005, and its purpose is to highlight the tools and resources that the media (and the general public) has to ensure open and transparent government.
Why should Sunshine Week matter to you?
Jim Zachary, national deputy editor for CNHI, penned a column for the American Society of News Editors. The following is an excerpt:
“The media is most definitely not your enemy,” Zachary wrote. “Far from being the enemy of the people, day in and day out we take our role as the Fourth Estate (government oversight) seriously and work hard to protect your right to know, making public records requests and attending public meetings to keep you informed.
“Why?
“Because we believe all the business government does, whether in open public meetings or behind closed doors, is your business.
“We believe every last penny government spends is your money.
“We believe it is your right to know every transaction, every decision, every expenditure and every deliberation of your government.
“Whether talking about the White House, the statehouse or the county courthouse, all the documents held in government halls belong to the people, and all the business conducted by our governors is public business.”
Sunshine Week coincides with the anniversary of the Freedom of Information Act, federal legislation that was signed into law by President Lyndon Johnson in 1966 just as the Vietnam War was heating up.
The Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) provides the media with the legal muscle that we need in order to keep the public informed about government affairs.
One of the earliest and most notable uses of the FOIA was its role in the Watergate scandal. Washington Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein had to use extraordinary tactics, which included FOIA, in order to get to the truth that eventually crumbled Richard Nixon’s presidency.
Last week, Biddeford City Manager James Bennett presented his proposed annual budget to the city council. I sat there, in the back row, taking notes. I was the only reporter there. Honestly, it made me very sad.
Thirty years ago, there would be at least three reporters at every city meeting. But it’s different now. The Portland Press Herald closed its local Main Street bureau. The locally owned Biddeford-Saco Courier was sold and the Journal Tribune, formerly the Biddeford Daily Journal, this area’s iconic news source, fell victim to the ongoing corporate butchering of local media coverage, closing its doors forever.
Today, the Portland Press Herald rarely covers local news in the Biddeford-Saco area. Reporter Gillian Graham is smart, talented and hardworking, but she is spread thin, and her employer has opted to save money by using the weekly Biddeford-Saco Courier to cover news in this neck of the woods.
Eloise Goldsmith, the Courier’s newest reporter, is also smart, talented and hard-working. That said, Goldsmith’s editors expect her to cover the communities of Biddeford, Saco, Old Orchard Beach, Kennebunk, Kennebunkport and Arundel.
How we can we possibly expect one person to cover such a large geographic area?
Many years ago, when I was the Courier’s editor, we had one reporter covering Biddeford, another reporter covering Saco and Old Orchard Beach; and yet another reporter covering the towns of Kennebunk, Kennebunkport and Arundel for our sister publication, The Post.
Today, we are expecting one reporter to do the same job as three reporters did 25 years ago.
According to a Brookings Institution report, more than 2,000 newspapers across the country ceased publication in the last 15 years or so. The shuttering of newspapers presents a very real and present danger to our most basic freedoms.
Who cares? Who does this hurt?
It hurts you, your wallet and your neighbors.
Thankfully, one young woman from Old Orchard Beach decided that this area deserves a media source to help fill the coverage gap left behind by the changing local journalism landscape.
When the Journal Tribune closed its doors a few years ago, reporter Liz Gotthelf packed up her belongings and decided to launch Saco Bay News, a free online, professional news source.
Running an independent media source is no easy task. There is no such thing as a 40-hour work-week. The income sucks, the hours are long and the work is often so tedious that is causes migraines.
It is a mostly a thankless task and easily criticized by people who know very little about journalism. But Liz is fully committed. She is an idealist, and she firmly believes that you should have consistent, reliable information regarding everything from the opening of a new eatery to coverage of bank robbery, a structure fire and yes even your local budget.
I Can’t Get No (Satisfaction)
Jim Bennett will routinely ignore my telephone calls and emails. It doesn’t hurt my feelings, but it’s a disservice to the people I work for: you.
I treat Jim Bennett differently than any other city employee, including department heads. I have never written (and will never write) a disparaging column about any city employee. I will not make snarky remarks or sarcastic criticisms about our hard-working talented city employees.
I treat Jim differently, however. I hold him to a higher standard. Why?
Because Jim Bennett sits at the top of the proverbial food chain. Because he wants to wear the big-boy pants. Because he has more than 40 years of experience in city government.
But mostly because he often acts like an egotistical, condescending and arrogant son-of-a-bitch. What a pair we make.
A few months ago, former Mayor Alan Casavant, a friend of mine, called me and said that Jim Bennett thinks I treat him unfairly (I hear that from lots of people). I like Alan. I was his campaign manager when he first ran for the mayor’s seat in 2011 (I was not working as a journalist then). So, as a favor to the former mayor, I offered to sit down with Jim and a tape recorder and conduct a one-on-one interview on any topic of his choosing.
Reportedly, Jim did not like that idea. I’m guessing he was more worried about my tape recorder than he was about me.
Councilor Marc Lessard has often found himself on the wrong side of my pen. He and I have sparred publicly for more than three decades. But you know what? Marc always returns my calls promptly.
It’s not personal, it’s business.
Few people have suffered more because of my writing than Councilor Bobby Mills. Just ask him. But you know what? Bobby Mills always returns my calls.
Why? Because Lessard and Mills have thick skin and realize that I am a direct conduit to their constituents. To them, the people’s business is more important than petty, vindicative personality battles.
In all fairness, Jim Bennett can be a nice guy when he wants to be.
Jim is intelligent, and he does have a lot of municipal experience. He is also very involved in charitable work with the non-profit Kora Shrine Temple and commits hundreds of hours annually to the Shriners and their mission to provide free medical treatment for children.
All Jim needs is a thicker skin and a better attitude. But I don’t think he needs more highly paid assistants working in the city manager’s office.
I think Larry Vaughan, the mayor of Amity Island, said it best in the movie Jaws:
“Look, Martin, if you yell barracuda, people will say “Huh? What? But if you yell FOIA, we’ll have a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July.”
As always, thank you for reading, and I welcome your thoughts, especially if you disagree with me.
________
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Originally published (without pictures) in Saco Bay News
Since I am literally on the cusp of turning 60 this week, I thought for this installment of All Along The Watchtower, I would share 60 different things I have learned (sometimes the hard way) over the past 60 years. Here we go:
Alpacas are better than Llamas. Fact.
It’s okay for a grown man to cry during a movie, even if it’s Dumbo. Such behavior demonstrates empathy and significantly decreases your odds of becoming a serial killer.
Owning a dog is probably the closest you will ever come to meeting God before you die.
My sister, Kristeen, and I strike a pose on the stairs of our State Street apartment in Biddeford.
Cherish and nurture your friendships. Never take them for granted. Those relationships are more precious than gold.
Having and raising children is a sure-fire method of forgiving your parents for any transgressions.
Always go with the higher-quality toilet paper. Two-ply or better. It may cost more at the register but you will save money in how much you need.
Every single person has done silly and stupid things. Forgive yourself for the same behavior.
If you are going to drink Scotch, ALWAYS go with a single malt.
When eating out, be willing to try something new.
Lackland A,F.B, July 1982
Say “I love you” every single day to your spouse, your child or your dog. Then follow it up with an act of love.
If you travel to a foreign country, try to learn a few basic phrases of their national language, i.e. Please, Thank you, Hello, Goodbye, Good morning and good night.
Always tip your servers and bartenders at least 20 percent. If you can’t afford that, you can’t afford to eat out.
Respect your elders. With any luck, you will be their age someday.
Never, ever, ever add a liquid accelerant (gasoline, kerosene, etc.) onto a camp fire in progress.
If you join the military, don’t pack a lot of stuff for your first day at boot camp. You won’t need it.
Everyone should have the experience of a night in jail. It really changes your perspective.
Moderation is nice, but a second piece of pie is better.
At least once in your life, jump into the north Atlantic Ocean in January. You will never feel more alive.
Try to do one random act of kindness each day, even something as simple as letting someone else cut in front of you in traffic.
Take good care of your teeth. Just trust me on this.
Live in different states across the country.
Teenagers should be required to read Kerouac and Hunter S. Thompson. Seniors should read those books again before judging young people.
Me and my mother, 1985
Remember: every person, including you, has an expiration date. Act accordingly.
Watch The Godfather for lessons in loyalty; watch Jaws to learn respect for nature; and watch The Blues Brothers to learn about having fun and paying your debts.
Get a library card and use it frequently.
Learn the value of being alone, sipping bourbon and listening to Miles Davis.
Pay attention to the world around you, be a voracious reader and a critical thinker.
Question authority, but don’t be a jerk about it.
Look up a former teacher and say “Thank you.”
It’s Daylight-Saving Time, not Daylight Savings Time.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
Steak should always be medium rare, and coffee is best served black.
Never miss an opportunity to vote.
Go to a local Little League game, especially if you don’t know any of the players. Cheer for all of them.
Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are as real as you want them to be. Those are just different names for Kindness, Generosity and Love.
Use your headlights while driving in the rain, even during daylight hours.
Speaking of driving, ALWAYS wear a seatbelt.
It is always better to have too much than not enough.
If you’re not five minutes early, you are ten minutes late.
Learn to count to 10 in three different languages other than your native tongue. It’s a neat bar trick and makes the girls think you’re smart.
If you’re drinking really good, expensive bourbon, try to avoid pouring it over ice.
Guiness should always be served at room temperature.
With few exceptions, the book is always better than the movie.
Remember that white, Christian people were the very first immigrants to arrive in this part of the world.
Know the difference between faith and religion.
You never help a man see your point of view by giving him a black eye.
No matter how far down the scale you have fallen, it’s NEVER too late to do something nice.
Kindness is always a choice and an option. Always.
Sweating is good for you. It is a natural way for your body to rid itself of toxins.
Owning a cat teaches you humility.
Men: try shaving your legs and underarms every day for a week so that you can better appreciate what a pain in the ass it is to be a woman.
Men: Always give up your seat for a woman left standing. Always.
When shaking hands, do so firmly with direct eye contact.
Every person should own a roll of duct-tape, a can of WD-40 and a hammer. With these tools, you can fix almost everything.
Green plants will burn. In fact, anything will burn if it gets hot enough.
There is NEVER a reason or excuse to litter.
If you have not been, go to the Grand Canyon. It cannot be described with words.
To avoid shark attacks, stay away from the ocean.
Never underestimate the value of chocolate.
If you are afraid of rollercoasters, ride the Carousel. Never be afraid to have fun.
LESSONS IN MEDIOCRITY | OUTLAW JOURNALIST 