Even the losers get lucky sometimes

Recently, someone on social media asked me why I think I’m “so smart” and “why should anyone listen or care about what I say (or write)?”

My answer is rather simple. In all seriousness, I’m actually not very smart. In fact:

I don’t know how to change my own oil;

I often get lost while driving in my own hometown;

For almost four decades, I sucked down an average of two packs per day of non-filtered cigarettes, resulting in serious and irreversible damage to my teeth and gums;

I dropped out of college, and then I dropped out of the seminary. For the first five years of my adult life, I couldn’t manage to hold a job for longer than four months;

I honestly do not swim in the ocean because I am very concerned about sharks;

Shortly after I turned 26, I thought it was a good idea to take a swing at a police officer. I ended crying like a little girl in a crowded Davidson County (Nashville) jail.

While mowing my lawn last week, I stepped in the same exact pile of dogshit three times.

On the eve of my 38^th birthday, just a few hours before I proposed to Laura, my credit card was declined at the Samoset Resort. I had to call my boss and tell him I couldn’t get things set for our work conference because I didn’t have a credit card that would work.

I could keep going, but I’ll bet you get the point by now.

Sure, I know a lot of things about some subjects; but that’s just because my brain stores a lot of useless, trivial bullshit. Being a good player at your local tavern’s trivia night may sound impressive, but honestly — who really needs to know what SPQR stands for? (I bet you just Googled that).

Why do I need to know that Richard Nixon’s middle name is Milhouse??? I don’t know, but I do.

My home office looks like it’s occupied by an intelligent person. Looks can be deceiving. Sure, I have all sorts of books, including the works of Marcus Aurelius, Truman Capote, Jack Kerouac and George Orwell . . . . hundreds of books, Nietzsche, Descartes, Thoreau and Ralph Waldo Emerson. Impressive? Hardly, I haven’t even cracked the cover of most of those books. They accumulate dust in my bookcases because they look good . . .

My point? We should be careful with words like smart and stupid.

(2001: On the roof of Biddeford City Hall, doing a marathon to try and save the Lincoln Mill Clock Tower)

For whatever reasons, and only God knows why, I have the ability to string together words and make a living by doing it. It doesn’t make me smart. People often tell me that they really enjoy reading my stuff.  I like the compliments, but it has nothing to do with intelligence.

I think I do a good job of writing simply because I love doing it. Period. It doesn’t really matter that I don’t know all the intricacies of using a semicolon, but I know just enough to be dangerous. Never ending any of my sentences with a preposition.

I think people excel when they are following their hearts and passion.

Besides writing and storytelling, I love politics. I am a political junkie. When I was 10, I would read the newspaper about Watergate. When I found the opportunity to blend politics and writing . . . well then BAMM! I was off to the races.

As a journalist, I covered a wide range of stories and events, but my greatest passion was (and remains today) writing about the politics of my own hometown.

On a side note, my first opportunity to get paid for what I wrote happened many years ago when I was hired to be a sports reporter for a weekly publication in central Maine. The thing that makes this anecdote funny is the fact that I knew absolutely nothing about sports. What I know now about sports could fit on a postage stamp.

I sucked at sports as a kid, and I never enjoyed watching baseball, hockey or football. I could not name, off the top of my head, even just one member of the New England Patriots . . . but if you want to talk about Spiro Agnew, well then . . . I’m your guy.

So when it comes to bloviating on social media about local politics, I can be . . . well, let’s just say a bit over enthusiastic.

Frankly, I’m always amazed when I find someone who actually agrees with me. I don’t expect or need you to like or agree with me about Biddeford politics, but be forewarned . . . this is my wheelhouse, baby. I’ve been doing this over three decades and this (Biddeford/Saco) is my hometown.

This is my passion, well that and watching the movie Jaws more than 250 times (and counting).

Have a good night, and don’t forget to chase your dreams.